Clearing space typically means something like organizing your garage or clearing the excess activities off of your calendar.

These are the kinds of things you get to choose to eliminate.

What about those areas you don't get to choose?

What about the space created from loss?

All of us experience loss throughout our lifetime.

There are the obvious losses: death of a loved one, divorce, health, a career, money...

And there are more subtle losses: our youth, our identity, our children growing up and leaving, dreams that will never be realized...

Whatever it is, there is a gaping hole left that was once filled. Found in its place is disappointment, pain, and even shock. Our lives will never be the same.

What can we do with this painful space?

Here is a key that I have found very helpful in my own journey of loss:

Grieve well.

Grieving is the soul's way of finding healing. In fact, I just read an article by Martha Beck. She says, "Even grief, when accepted fearlessly, is restorative. Some therapists call it 'the healing feeling.'"

Pain wants to be healed. When people are in pain, the tendency is to find a way out ASAP! Many people try to shove down their pain so they can function. While this can help with coping temporarily, it doesn't address the "real thing" going on.

According to Rabbi Mordecai Finley, if you don't consciously deal with the "real thing", it will symptomize all over your life in negative ways.

Imagine if you broke your leg and didn't set the bone. What would happen? Well, it would still heal, but you would be crippled for the rest of your life.

When we don't deal with our pain and grief, we can become disfigured and diminish the gift of life we have to yet live.

Good grief is done is layers...not all at once. Sometimes we need to step away and have breaks from the intensity.

But instead of habitually filling up the painful hole with distractions, good grief can teach us to stay in the tension of holding the space open. It allows the natural cycle of cleansing and healing.

Yes, there will be scars left, but we can learn to walk gracefully and discover life after death.

Author's Bio: 

Belinda Lams of Soul Organizer is a Certified Professional Life Coach, Professional Organizer, and speaker. She is passionate about helping people live from clarity and purpose. Belinda is available for coaching services by phone and can be reached at