Giving Up Judgments #1 of 3

Part 1:

First of all, in order to give something up, we would have to know what that something actually is. Not what we believe it is, or think it is, but what it actually is. This is a difficult discernment to make with regard to judgments because there is a line regarding our perceptions of what is a judgment, and what is not a judgment, that when crossed, triggers our automatic mind system to reward us with the feeling of "being right" and the key point is, whether we are correct with our assessment, or not. A totally addictive feeling, more powerful than any drug known to man. Or woman, for that matter! When crossed, we switch from feeling like what we are doing is a judgment, and instead, feel as if what we are doing is simply "right," and it may be right, again, quite regardless of whether our perceptions are correct or not. A correct perception perceives what is, a right/wrong perception perceives what is believed to be true, whether it is true or not. Our automatic judgment system does this whether the right we think we are, is correct or not. Up until we get to that line, we can clearly see that what we're doing is judging. For instance, outright racism is a judgment, that most people are quite aware, whether they feel right or wrong, that they are doing it when they're doing it. In fact, every single other form of judgment that we can name, would be one that was also obvious to us. Maybe they're not all as obvious as the more common ones, but sooner or later it dawns on us that we're judging. Sometimes we're willing to give that judgment up, at others times, we are not. Great. That's it for obvious judgments. They're the ones we do have the potential to give up, because we can see them. But what about all the others?

What others? That's the point. All of our judgments that are invisible to us, just automatically "seem right" simply because they're already in our heads, and in being so, are so hard to pick out of the background called "rightness" like trying to identify in a small photograph, a white snowflake falling on a winter's day, taken with a white background. But they're there, and it's those invisible judgments that really run our lives, not the ones that we can see. This is why the villain when he's thoroughly evil all the way through and through, and enjoys it, is someone we actually seem to like in a movie. He's predictable, and doesn't hide his evilness. At the least, we like him because he's honest. When we allow judgments that are invisible to our conscious mind to run us, we are not being honest. This cover up happens in our lives when we say things to hide how we actually feel, or we say things that we don't really mean because they're "funny," and as well, when we fight about things without ever realizing what the fight is really about; and we do this kind of fighting all the time. We do this battling in relationships, and in particular, marriages, and this is why it's hard to maintain your balance within them, and in turn, this is also why they are the perfect venue for ferreting out these invisible beliefs that form into operating judgments. This is the importance of saying "Thank you!" to them when they come up! Go ahead, say "Thank You!" to your spouse as soon as you can!

The thing is, most of us resist this process like hell. Or as if it were hell. Because it is hell! It's hell giving up our ego's bent to dominate and control the entire Universe, if not in fact, then from the inside of the world we create within our small, judgmental minds. And it's not that we're stupid, in fact, humans are extremely intelligent, yet woefully ignorant. Ignorant of the myriad of invisible processes and reactive systems that run them. Yet through the "tell the truth now tell the truth later" system of successful living, it isn't all that hard to come to the point where invisible belief systems no longer run us as much as they have in the past. As much, because it seems as if those systems are like interlinking tunnels that have been burrowed through our minds for centuries, tied up in our very DNA, and they occur like new hoards of ants with forty more seeming to spring up just as soon as you kill one. Yet there is a way to deal with the fact of their existence, one that will bring us to more and more over time, lead successful lives. Successful, in our eyes. In this way, loving family, robust health, more money, good relationships, an increased experience of love and self-worthiness, a satisfying career, a cherished avocation, much joy, and happiness, and all those things we desire that would fulfill our dreams, come to make up the bulk of our lives.

What follows has to be by design, in a short article, an incomplete essay on how to give up our judging, and what to do about it. In the following articles of which there will be two more on how to give up our judging, more information will be given as to what our judgments actually look like, how to give them up, as well as how invisible judgments operate in our lives. For now, what is provided is only the beginning of this incredibly useful process designed to support you in giving up all that doesn't work for you, and instead, devoting your precious life time and energy to that which does work for you. Your choice, your voice, as always, because only you can say what does and does not work for you.

How then, do we deal with the fact of the existence of invisible beliefs? Here's a beginning list, one taken from the online seminar I offer participants. Hopefully this will support your journey of success, because in this venue it can only be a partial list:

1) First of all, as hard as this is, it's the only way to overcome any negative effects of any judgment we have, invisible or not: Simply acknowledge that you have many visible, as well as, invisible beliefs, operating in your life (because we all do).

2) After acknowledgment, ask yourself the question: "Am I willing?" Am I willing to discover just what my visible and invisible beliefs and judgments are?

3) After you answer question two, if the answer is "Yes," then ask yourself if you are willing to give up those that are not serving you. Really ask yourself, and be with the answers you get. They will reveal a lot about the most important relationship you have: your relationship to yourself.

4) What does it mean that you have a judgment of any kind? It means that you have a judgment, that's all, that's it, nothing more, nothing less. Give yourself a break. If the belief or judgment you discover doesn't work for your well being, then ask yourself "Am I willing to give that one up?" If so, great. If not, great too. Either way, insight is the beginning of all true wisdom, and true wisdom is the beginning of living out a successful and joyful life.

5) Anything, and I mean, each and every anything, that we first had the power to do, we also have the power to undo. Whatever habits we've picked up, whatever automatic reactive traits we have, we can give them up, we can let them go, and we then have the power to take up new ones. Ones that work for us. Ask yourself, "Am I willing to discover what works for me, and to let go of what does not?" And it's only you who can decide what works for you or not.

6) Lastly, know with certainty, that this whole process isn't an easy one for any of us. It's hard to admit those things about ourselves we've taken up as habits, and then to truly let go of them after we see all that stuff we don't like about ourselves. But it's still just stuff, and each one of us have a whole slew of that junk, all different, with not one person a single iota better than any other person for it. That junk we all have to get rid of is just what it means to be human. And the best part is, being human also means having the potential willingness to shift our energy, over time, from that which does not work for us, into that which does. Good luck on your journey!