Getting Past Cheating In Your Marriage

Whether you are cheating, your spouse is cheating or both of you are being unfaithful to each other, your marriage has suffered a life-threatening blow and will need help getting past the cheating.

Many marriages do survive past the affair, but it takes hard work and total commitment by both spouses and oftentimes the assistance of an appropriately trained professional.

Are you one of those couples willing to invest in getting past cheating in your relationship?

So what can you do the get past the hurt, forgive the cheating other partner or each other if you have both cheated?

First, you must accept that the process will take time and some days will be better than others as you move back and forth through the anger, pain and feelings of betrayal caused by the damage to the trust that is now gone from the marriage.

Trust will have to be re-earned and rebuilt little by little.
So, how can you recover the trust in your marriage?
You will have to re-establish a pattern of reliability and even one deviation can damage this fragile recovery.
Get caught in even one lie, no matter how “white”, while in this fragile state and every bit of trust you have gained will be lost.
The haunting and vivid images of the cheating will come flooding back.
The cheated on spouse will become hyper-suspicious and go into protection defense mode so as not to be hurt by the possibility of your cheating again.
Getting past cheating and re-building trust in your marriage means that your word must be your bond.
If you promise to be home by a certain time, see that your get home at that time.
Another important step in surviving an affair and rebuilding the trust in your relationship is to choose appropriate times and places to discuss the infidelity and the hurt it has caused.
This can be very difficult and will surely be a test of your love and commitment to getting past cheating and saving your marriage.
It will be tempting, especially if you are the injured party to want to carry the hurt over into all communication with your partner, however you must resist this urge as it will prevent you from really listen to each other in a meaningful way.

However, this does not mean that you should allow the cheating spouse to gloss over the hurt, pain and shame that their betrayal has caused you.
It will be necessary to set ground rules for discussing the adultery, so, in addition to choosing the specifics of time and place, the tone of what is spoken must be respectful, non-accusatory and free from name calling and insults.

Seems like a tall order, especially when the discovery of cheating is first revealed and the pain is raw and fresh, however, many couples have been able to use these and other steps to get past cheating and rebuild the love and trust in their marriage.

Getting past cheating is not easy and if you want help I have 2 free guides written by Dr. Frank Gunzburg, who has over 30 years experience helping couples getting past cheating and saving their marriage.