Think about how much time we waste on bad emotions we keep due to not being able to forgive. The inability to forgive sets our life on hold, we cannot move on and we get stagnated. We get blinded to the opportunities beyond the thing we need to forgive.

We do not forget.

But forgiving starts in our own heart, you need to forgive yourself landing into those circumstances that created the bad experience. When you have forgiven yourself, then you can get at peace with that situation. You get released and relieved and you can move on.

Forgiving the person that wronged you will be easier. But it’s enough to do that in your heart, you do not need to say it to the person. Because you might not be able to speak to that person due to the person is not around anymore; or the person is too dangerous; or is without regret of what was done or too hateful.

And because you do not want to get hurt anymore.

When you have forgiven the past, closed its door then the future opens its door to you. You get an opportunity to a new life, a new beginning.

Trust life to deliver!

The most powerful story of forgiveness I came across when following one of the news media on the monstrosities in Rwanda. This was a program of looking back at what happened twenty years ago and where the nation is heading today.

The Rwandan genocide was in 1994 and at that time Rwanda’s population of seven million was composed of three ethnic groups: Hutu approx. 85%, Tutsi approx. 14% and Twa approx. 1%. Due to political struggle between the groups, and a shooting down of an airplane carrying their president, a civil war broke out. Over 800,000 men, women, and children perished in the Rwandan genocide, perhaps as many as three quarters of the Tutsi population. Also thousands of Hutu were murdered when they opposed the killing campaign.

The international community did nothing until it was too late.

In the program two persons are telling their stories, they are neighbors and were neighbors when this happened. One had witnessed the murder of her family and the other had chopped one hand of her. Still the woman could forgive the man that had crippled her and was involved with the murderers of her family.

For some reason he did not seem to understand the miracle of that forgiving moment. Maybe because he felt bad about what he had done to his neighbor.

Allow the miracle of forgiveness to flourish, even though we feel we could have done better. We need to forgive ourselves!

Because she could forgive,they have an opportunity to become good neighbors and share a better future for all in Rwanda. We often seem to forget that we need one another to co-create a better life and future for all of us. We are all sitting in the same boat, so we better try to paddle in the same direction.

Author's Bio: 

Agustina Thorgilsson, an expert in industrial psychology, began her career in 1979 as a consultant for internal affairs, communication and human resources development (HRD) with AB Volvo in Sweden. In 1988 she became the director for the Institute of Management Training, a division set up by the Ministry of Finance servicing all of Iceland’s public sector. She later founded a management training company that advised both public and private sectors on strategy, management and HRD issues, before completing a Masters degree in clinical psychology which led to the founding of Life-Navigation in 2005. Agustina’s vision is to help making the world a better place by showing people how to transcend even the most difficult life-experiences individuals can possibly encounter and move towards peace as a race. She had learned to use her intuition, insights and little used old knowledge known to man. By tapping into this endless reservoir of information and understanding clinical psychology, the evolution of the Life-Navigation System began. Agustina’s successes have shown that Life-Navigation makes an enormous difference.