At times, it will be necessary for someone to relax and recharge, and, at other times, it will be necessary for them to take action and get things done. The fire that is inside them won’t be activated when they are relaxed and it will be when they are not.

However, to say that this fire will just be there to spur them into action wouldn’t be completely accurate. The reason is that this fire will relate to what allows them to be alive and to embrace life.

Life Force

It is then the very thing that gives them the will to live and to make the most of the life that they have been given. This power that is inside them will also be there to protect them when their life is under threat.

So, it will be what causes them to go into fight or light mode. Therefore, this inner power will be what gives them the energy to live a life that is worth living and keeps them alive during the moments when their life is under threat.

A Different Experience

But, while it would be easy to assume that everyone both has and is connected to this power, this is not the case. Someone can be in a position where they have this inner fire but not be connected to it.

Consequently, they can be pretty lifeless, passive and lack the oomph that they need to live a life that is worth living. Moreover, when they are treated badly by others, they can typically tolerate it.

Another Part

Also, if their life has ever been under threat, they might not have done anything. During a moment like this, they might have simply withdrawn and put up with what was going on.

If so, what might have saved them is that another person or a number of people might have gotten involved and stood up for them. And, there might have been moments when another person just stopped and walked away.

A Strange Scenario

If they were to step back and reflect on how lifeless they often are and how they rarely if ever defend themselves when they need to, they could wonder what is going on. What might enter their mind is that there is something inherently wrong with them and that they are missing something.

They might see that they have been this way for as long as they can remember. They could then end up being convinced that they were simply born this way and are simply not like others.

What’s going on?

Yet, even if they believe that they were merely born this way, it doesn’t mean that this is the truth. There is a chance that what took place during their formative years had a massive impact on why they are this way.

Still, if they were to look back on this stage of their life, they might not be able to remember a great deal. What this is likely to show is that their brain has blocked out what took place in order to allow them to keep it together and function.

Two Sides

The downside to this, of course, is that this will stop them from being able to join the dots, so to speak. If they were to think about this stage of their life for a little while, they might gradually remember certain things that will shed light on why they are this way.

What might soon occur to them, then, is that they were often physically harmed, verbally put down and isolated. This would have meant that they were deprived of the love, protection and care that they needed to grow and develop in the right way.

One Focus

As they were powerless and totally dependent at this stage, they wouldn’t have been able to fight back or run away. Their only option was to disconnect from how they felt and their needs and to go into a shut down and collapsed state.

This would have separated them from their body, with them losing touch with their fire and instincts in the process. Ultimately, being connected to and expressing themselves would have been a threat to their survival.

Irrespective of whether their parent or parents wanted to, they would have deeply traumatised them and caused them to live on the surface of themselves. They wouldn’t have felt safe enough to be here let alone to defend themselves.

The Next Step

Many, many years will have passed since this stage of their life but a big part of them won’t have moved on. They are likely to be carrying a lot of pain and many unmet developmental needs.

Working through this pain and experiencing these unmet developmental needs is likely to take courage and patience and persistence.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, enmeshment, inner child, true self and inner awareness. With over three thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to -

Feel free to join the Facebook Group -