Having feelings is part of the human experience but that doesn’t mean that someone will have a good relationship with their own. What can be normal is for them to be out of touch with how they feel.

This part of them is there to provide them with guidance. Consequently, they are typically not going to be able to utilise the information that is provided by this part of their being.

Another Experience

However, when they do connect to how they feel, they could ignore what is going on for them. This part of them will then be trying to tell them something but they won’t be willing to listen let alone act upon the information that is being provided.

Still, this could be something that takes place without them consciously choosing to ignore how they feel. What this is likely to illustrate is that, as they have done this so often, they no longer need to think about it.

The outcome

By being this way, they are likely to have the tendency to do things that don’t serve them. So, they could often spend too much time working, which could cause them to have moments when they are well and truly exhausted,

Naturally, not listening to the feedback inside them, that tells them that they need to rest and relax, will undermine them. What this comes down to is that when they don’t pay attention to how they feel, they will also ignore certain needs.

Stepping Back

If something was to take place that forced them to evaluate how they live their life, they could wonder why they live in this way. At this point, it could be clear that they need to start to listen to how they feel and pay attention to the needs that they are overlooking.

But, although they will realise that this is important, they could find that they are unable to simply change how they behave. What they could come to see is that they believe that their feelings are not important and they could expect other people to dismiss or ignore how they feel.

A Strange Scenario

If they are in a relationship, then, they are going to have the need to hide how they feel and fear that something bad will happen if they reveal how they feel. Being this way is not going to allow them to fully show up and to feel connected to their partner.

Therefore, they might not be an actor but they can feel as if they are playing a role, and that this is a role they are unable to let go of. They are then not going to be in a prison with four walls but they will be in a prison nevertheless.

Going Deeper

If they have been this way for as long as they can remember, it can show that they were brought up in an environment where feelings were largely overlooked. One or both of their parents might have been out of touch with their own feelings.

By being out of touch with their own feelings and thus, not having a healthy relationship with this part of them, they wouldn’t have been able to accept and support this part of their child. When they did express how they feel, then, one or both of their parents might have criticised or rejected them.

The Message

And, as this part of them was generally not accepted, they would have come to believe that there was something wrong with this part of them. This part of them couldn’t be removed but it could be repressed and hidden from them and others.

Yet, as this is part of them, as it was not accepted by their parent or parents, they would have also come to believe that there was something wrong with them. Whether their parent or parents were aware of this, they would have sent the message that they were not lovable as they were and would only be loved if they hid themselves and played a role.

The Fall Out

To survive, they would have been forced to lose touch with their feelings and a number of their needs. Their true self would have gone into hiding and a disconnected false self would have gradually been created.

This disconnected version of them would have allowed them to function in this environment and receive the scraps of attention and approval that were available. But, they would have experienced a lot of pain and been deprived of the love that they needed to grow and develop in the right way and they would have been estranged from their body’s wisdom.

Moving Forward

What this demonstrates is that without access to this guidance, it won’t matter how developed their intellect is as they won’t be as intelligent as they would be otherwise. An intellect that is separated from the body’s wisdom is greatly impeded.

To become a more integrated human being who is truly intelligent, they are likely to have a lot of pain to face and work through, unmet development needs to experience and beliefs to question. This is something that will take courage and patience and persistence.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, enmeshment, inner child, true self and inner awareness. With over three thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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