If a man was mistreated by his father during his formative years, it doesn’t mean that he will be aware of this. The reason for this is that his brain may have blocked out most if not all of what took place.

But, if he was able to remember some of the things that took place, he still might not be able to face up to what actually took place. For example, he could believe that his father didn’t treat him badly and that how he treated him was for his own good.

The Next Part

After this, he could say how his father toughed him up and made him into a man who is responsible, disciplined, resilient and hard-working, for instance. He could often talk about how soft the majority of men are today and how they lack self-control.

In his eyes, then, if they had had a father who was harder on them, they wouldn’t be this way. So, thanks, in part, to them not having a father who disciplined them when they misbehaved, they wouldn’t have grown into strong men.

At the top

When it comes to his own life, he could be in a position where some areas of his life are going well Then again, he could be in a position where a number of areas of his life are going well.

If this is the case, he might even have a large following online and be known by millions of people all over the world. Consequently, along with those who are repelled by him, there are going to be a lot of men, and women, who look up to him.

The Truth

By having such a big following, what he believes is naturally going to have a big impact. The people who look up to him can more or less accept whatever it is that he says, irrespective of whether it has any basis in reality.

Therefore, a lot of these people can come to believe that boys need to be disciplined to turn into strong men. This is not the only thing that they are likely to believe, though, as there will be other beliefs that he will pass off as being the truth.

A Key Point

Another thing that he can often talk about is how there is a system in place that is designed to enslave the masses. This system is then there to prevent people from being free and living how they want to live.

In addition to talking about the different elements that keep this system in place, he can talk about what people can to do break away from it. He will then have positioned himself as a saviour who is going to liberate humanity from the dark forces that are ‘out there’.

The Evidence

If he does end up getting into trouble, he could make out that this is because he warned others about what was going on. What has happened will then prove that he has been right all along.

There is going to be no shortage of people who will support him and go along with this view of reality. At this point, some people will say that he is out of touch with reality, while others will say that some of what he says is an accurate reflection of reality but that there is a lot that isn’t.

A Closer Look

Either way, if that is put to one side, what if the experiences that he had in relation to his father and how he reacted to them are playing a big part in the life that he leads as an adult? What if the external entity that is seen as being out to get him, and his fellow human beings, represents his father?

If this was put forward to him he could deny what is said and say this hasn’t got anything to do with his father. But, if the pain and memories that relate to what took place during his early years are repressed and are outside of his conscious awareness, this is to be expected.

Two Ways

For him to be able to step back and see if there is a connection there, he would need to let go of his idealised view of his father. As, if he was to reconnect to how he felt as a boy and came to see that how he feels an adult is very similar, he wouldn’t be able to hold onto this view and would be forced to see his father for who he was, not how he wanted him to be.

At this stage of his life, as he was powerless and totally dependent, it would have been too painful for him to face reality. This is why he had to disconnect from reality and lose touch with his feelings and a number of his needs in the process and create a false view of his father in order to keep it together and function.

Running the Show

Many, many years will have passed since this stage of his life, but, from behind the scenes, so to speak, what has not been resolved from this stage of his life will continue to define how he experiences reality. Fortunately, if he starts to become conscious of what has been held inside his unconscious mind for so long and works through it, his need to externalise it will gradually subside.

This will involve working through defences that have allowed him to keep this inner material at bay and, once these have been removed, he may feel unwanted, unloved, worthless, helpless, hopeless, scared, terrified, fearful and deeply hurt. What this illustrates is that what is going on ‘out there’ is a reflection of what is held inside his own consciousness.


If a man can relate to this and he is ready to change his life, he may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, enmeshment, inner child, true self and inner awareness. With over three thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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