What someone may see, if they were to step back and reflect on how they experience life, is that they don’t have a strong connection with their feelings. They could find that, in general, they are not aware of how they feel.

This is likely to show that they spend most of their life living in their head and don’t have a strong connection with their body. The reason for this is that, it is by being connected to their body, that they will be able to connect to how they feel.

One Outcome

By being this way, their intellect is likely to be what directs their life. Along with the guidance that this part provides them, they can look towards others.

Naturally, this is going to put a lot of pressure on this small part of them. But, if this is how they have been for as long as they can remember, there will be no need for them to believe that there is anything abnormal about living in this way.

Another outcome

Being this way can also make it hard for them to feel connected to others and form deeper relationships. What this comes down to is that it is their emotional self, not their mental self that allows this to take place.

Of course, a mental connection will play a part in developing a bond with another but this connection won’t be as deep as it would be if there was also an emotional connection. Therefore, even if they do have a number of friends, they might not feel overly close to them.

One More

If they are in a romantic relationship, being this way could make it hard for them to feel close to their partner. Another part of this is that their partner could often wonder how they feel about them.

Alternatively, if they have been in a relationship in the past, this may be something that they have experienced. If they did, they might have wondered why they were this way and even been hard on themselves.

Another Element

Now, although they won’t have a strong connection with their emotional self, what is going on at this level is still going to have an impact on them. For example, what they can find is that their mind is often busy.

They can then often suffer from racing thoughts and often find it hard to sleep at night. Furthermore, they can often be in a very low state, with them feeling depressed.

A Sign

What this is likely to show is that they are carrying a build-up of emotional pain. But, as they don’t have a strong connection with this part of them, it is not possible for this pain to reach them directly.

Due to this, it ends up reaching them indirectly by putting a lot of pressure on their conscious mind, and this part then produces a lot of mental activity. Yet, without this understanding, it is likely to seem as though their mind is just playing up.

What’s going on?

At this point, they can wonder why they don’t have a strong connection with this part of them. What this can show is that their early years were not very nurturing, with this being a time when they missed out on the love that they needed to grow and develop in the right way.

They may have been physically harmed and/or neglected by their mother and perhaps their father, for instance. But, regardless of what took place, this would have been a stage of their life when they were wounded and deeply deprived.

One option

To handle what was going on and not be completely overwhelmed, they would have had to lose touch with their feelings and a number of their needs. Ultimately, it would have been too painful for them to feel.

Their brain would have ended up ‘wiring’ in such a way as to weaken their connection with this part of them. As they were powerless and dependent, they were unable to do anything about what was going on, so they were forced to adapt.

The Fall Out

They would then have been embodied but thanks to what was going on, they become disembodied. The pain that they experienced, and their unmet developmental needs, will have been repressed and will be held inside their unconscious mind.

Not only this but their emotional self will be frozen in time. No matter how developed their intellect is, then, this other part of them will have been left behind.

The Next Stage

For them to become embodied and integrate their emotional self, they are going to have pain to face and work through and unmet developmental needs to experience. This is something that will take courage, patience, and persistence.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, enmeshment, inner child, true self and inner awareness. With over three thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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