What someone may come to see, if they were to take a step back and reflect on their life, is that they have the tendency to feel jealous. But, this might not be something that they experience from time to time; no, it could be something that is a regular occurrence.

Consequently, when they are with friends, at work or in a social setting, they could be consumed with jealousy. And, at times, this could be something that goes even further with them experiencing envy.

A Big Issue

Thanks to what is going on for them, then, this won’t be something that they can simply put to one side. They will be at the point where they know that they need to do something about it.

There is even a chance that at least one person in their life has commented on how jealous they are. If so, this may have been a time when they felt ashamed and as though they were behaving in a way that goes against who they are.

A Deeper Look

So, when they experience jealousy, this will be a time when they will resent what another person has or has achieved. If this ends up going to the next stage and they are envious, this will mean that they won’t want this person to have what they have.

Based on this, this could show that their life is not very fulfilling and they are used to not having a number of their needs met. If this wasn’t the case and they were used to having these needs met, there would be no reason for them to resent what other people have or have achieved or to not want them to have something.

One Outlook

At this point, it could be said that they have a ‘lack mentality’ and that there is no need for them to be jealous let alone envious of what other people have or achieve. For them to realise that there is enough for them, they are likely to have beliefs to question.

By going down this path, they will gradually be able to see that no matter what another person has or achieves, there is still enough for them. However, even if they were to do this, they could still find that they often feel jealous and envious.

What’s going on?

If they were to look back on their life, they may find that they have been this way for as long as they can remember. As a result of this, they could believe that they were just born this way.

Nonetheless, what took place during their formative years may have played a big part. This may have been a time when one or both of their parents were emotionally unavailable and unable to provide them with the love that they needed.

Back In Time

If so, throughout this stage of their life, it would have been normal for a number of their developmental needs to rarely if ever be met. A stage when they needed to receive the right nutrients in order to grow and develop in the right way would have been a time when they were deeply deprived.

Therefore, in this environment, there wouldn’t have been enough for them and there wasn’t anything that they could do to change that. Their only option was to disconnect from a number of their needs and feelings and to adapt to what was going on.

False Hope

They would have come to believe that if they behaved the right way and did the right things, they would receive what they needed. Yet, as what they needed simply wasn’t available, it would have mattered what they did.

They would have personalised what took place, though, as they were egocentric. This, along with their own lack of development, would have prevented them from being able to realise that one or both of their parents couldn’t love them.

Another Element

Additionally, they may have had a sibling who received things that they themselves didn’t receive. This would then have been a time when they were not treated fairly and would have naturally felt jealous.

Most likely, they would have taken this as a sign that they didn’t deserve to receive what this sibling received. This would have probably led to a sense of being rejected, unwanted and even abandoned.

A Natural Outcome

Taking into account what they experienced at a key developmental stage of their life, it is not going to be a surprise that they carry a deep sense that there is not enough for them or that they are not worthy of having their needs met. What took place will be over, of course, but, the pain that they experienced and the developmental needs that were not met will be held inside them.

Together, this inner material will keep them anchored to their past and in a place of lack and unworthiness. Facing this pain and working through it and experiencing these unmet developmental needs will take courage and patience and persistence.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, enmeshment, inner child, true self and inner awareness. With over three thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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