What can be normal is for someone to spend most of their time doing things. Therefore, they will rarely if ever take the time to relax and recharge.

But, if this was pointed out to them, it doesn’t mean that they would be able to accept this. For example, they could say that life is too short to simply sit around and that it is to be lived.

Two Options

If so, it will be as if they do things and make the most of life or they sit on the sidelines and waste the life that they have been given. And, as they are likely to live in a society that is filled with people who also live in the same way, there can be no reason for them to question why they are this way.

In fact, they can receive a lot of positive feedback from others, with them often being seen as a role model. In this society, being extremely driven is likely to typically be seen as a sign of having high self-esteem.

One Area

Due to how driven they are, they might have been able to achieve a certain level of success. So, they could be doing very well in their career and this may mean that they have a big house and an expensive car, for instance.

If this is the case, they can be seen as being successful in the eyes of some people. When it comes to the people who do see them in this way, they are likely to believe that success relates to having a lot of money and certain material objects.

Another Reality

On the other hand, although they spend a lot of time doing things, they might not be overly successful. Thus, they won’t have a lot to show for all the work that they have put in over the years.

As a result of this, they probably won’t receive a lot of positive feedback from others or be seen as successful. They could be used to being in the background in life and even be seen as someone who doesn’t do much.

What’s going on?

Now, when someone is more or less always on the go, regardless of whether they are or are not successful, it can show that they are running away from themselves. If, then, they were to slow down and take the time to just be from time to time, they might end up coming into contact with a lot of pain.

But, as they have behaved in this way for however long and they are likely to be surrounded by people who also spend a lot of time in doing mode, they are unlikely to realise this. What this illustrates is that there is more to their behaviour than meets the eye.

Going Deeper

If, for whatever reason, they were no longer able to behave in this way and started to slow down, what they might soon find is that they feel very uncomfortable. This can be a time when they will feel anxious and fearful.

Below this, can be guilt and shame. At this point, they might wonder why not doing anything causes them to have this inner experience.

A Closer Look

What this can show is that they don’t believe that they have the right to exist, and, by being on the go and doing things, they are trying to earn this right. Yet, if this is what is going on for them at a deeper level, it won’t matter what they do or achieve.

To use an analogy, it will be as though they are stuck on a treadmill that they are unable to get off. With this in mind, being on the go will keep how they feel at bay but it won’t remove these feelings and transform their inner world.

Why Is This?

They could come to the conclusion that it is strange that they feel this way as they have as much right as anyone else to be here. As strange as it might appear to be, if they were to go back in time to when they were a child and before, what is going on for them might soon make sense.

Their formative years may have been a time when they were generally not loved and cherished by their mother and perhaps their father. Instead, they may have often been criticised, ignored, rejected, and abandoned.

The Outcome

Being treated in this way would have deprived and wounded them and, as they were egocentric, they would have personalised what took place. It was then not that their mother and perhaps their father were unable to love them; it was that there was something inherently wrong with them.

They would then have experienced a physical birth but not an emotional birth – their sense of self would have stayed in an underdeveloped state. The truth is that they deserve to be here and don’t need to earn the right to exist.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, enmeshment, inner child, true self and inner awareness. With over three thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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