To love and be loved is one of humanities deepest desires. Too often it remains an unsatisfied hunger, burning inside. Feeling unloved over a long period of time can cause us to feel unlovable. We retreat into ourselves, locking away our feelings and desires because we feel we are not good enough, pretty enough or smart enough to be loved by the people around us. Depression, frustration and anger often result. We push people away because it is easier than feeling the disappointment of not feeling loved. Most of us have experienced these feelings at one time or another in our lives. If and when this should happen to you, there are some simple ways you can begin to feel better about yourself and regain some of your joy in living.

Keep on keeping on.

Sometimes the only thing we feel like doing is to just crawl in a cave, pull a rock over the entrance and cry. The loss of a loved one, whether through death, divorce or change of circumstances, can trigger a wide range of negative emotions. If we continually express these negative feelings, we find ourselves stuck in our misery. At times like these, the only thing we can do is to just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Keep getting up, getting dressed, going to work or school. The comfort of routine and the stimulation of outside events help, over time, to lessen the power pain can have over our lives.

Do something for someone else.

Volunteer to help at a soup kitchen. Drive a senior to the doctor. Get involved with Habitat for Humanity or a community action group. Clean up graffiti or join a community clean-up project. Whether you help someone you know or step out of your comfort zone to work with people you’ve never met, you will not only accomplish good in your community, you will feel better about yourself. It is much easier to love and be loved when we feel that life has value.

Do something for yourself.

It’s ok to do something for yourself. You deserve it. Read a good book, take yourself out for a special lunch, take a nap or go for a walk. We live in a hectic, stress filled world. If we don’t stop and remember to care for ourselves, we can begin to resent everything else we do and that leads to feelings of being unloved and unappreciated. The little voice starts screaming inside, “What’s in it for me?” Give yourself a mini vacation from everything you “should” do and do something just because it’s what you want to do.

Do it with love.

Whatever you do, whether it’s your job, a favor for a friend or treating yourself to a day at the spa, do it with love. Entering into any situation with feelings of dread, resentment or frustration will only make the task more difficult. Find something to love about what you are doing. If there is nothing in the situation that you can love, then it’s time to love yourself enough to make some changes in your life.

Author's Bio: 

Judi Moreo is an author, speaker, and life coach. She has written 11 books including “You Are More Than Enough: Every Woman’s Guide to Purpose, Passion, and Power.” Judi can be reached at or go directly to her website by going to