If someone was to take a step back and reflect on their life, what might end up standing out is that they often experience a sense of disgust. When this takes place, they will be around something or someone that causes them to be repulsed and they could even feel sick.

This will then be a time when they will want to get away from something or someone. By doing this, they might soon be able to settle down and feel at ease.

One Area

It might not be as simple as this, though, as they could be in a relationship where they often feel this way. Now, this could mean that they are with someone who is abusive or it might not be this black and white.

Alternatively, they could be with someone who they are not really attracted to. When it comes to the former, they will be with someone who is violating them on a regular basis, and when it comes to the latter, they will be with someone who they are physically repelled by.

Another Experience

Then again, they could be with someone who they are attracted to but they could be repelled by certain things that they do. So, they will have ways of behaving or habits that they find repulsive.

Moreover, they could find that one of their partner’s friends and/or family members also has the same effect on them. Whatever it is that has this effect on them, it is naturally going to undermine their wellbeing and their relationship.

A Big Difference

Now, if they are with someone who is abusive, this disgust will be there to tell them that the other person is not right for them and is a threat. It is then going to be essential for them to cut their ties with them.

Or, if they are with someone who they are not attracted to, his disgust will be there to tell them that the other person is not right for them. Cutting their ties with them can then allow them to find someone who is right for them.

A Different Response

However, if they are with someone who has certain behaviours or habits that have this impact on them, it might be a good idea for them to explore why this is. The reason for this is that if there are things that they appreciate about them, ending the relationship is probably not going to be the best option.

Taking this into account, the approach that they need to take after experiencing disgust can depend on a variety of factors. The key point is that this inner response is there to let them know that something is not right and they need to look into why this is.

A Pattern

What they could also see, if they were to look back on their life, is that this is a position that they have been in before. If, then, they are with someone who they are not overly attracted to or has certain behaviours or habits that they find repulsive, this won’t be the first time this has taken place.

They might see that their current relationship is very similar to their last relationship and perhaps the one that they had before. This could even be something that goes back even further.


Consequently, they will be used to being in a relationship that is not very harmonious or pleasurable. To use an analogy; it will be as if they are continually eating a meal that has ingredients that are not supposed to be there.

Thus, instead of being able to enjoy most of what they put into their mouth, they will want to spit out a lot of what goes in. In the same way that they won’t want to eat a lot of the food that goes in their mouth, they often won’t want their partner nearby, let alone close to them.

What’s going on?

Thanks to what they have experienced in this area of their life, they could believe that what is going on externally is the issue. This area of their life would then be different if they were with the ‘right’ person.

Nonetheless, there is a chance that what is taking place in this area of their life is a replay of what it was like for them during their formative years. This may have been a time when they were regularly violated by one or both of their parents.

Back In Time

They might have regularly been physically harmed, verbally put down and left. The person or people who was supposed to love, care and protect them would have been the one or ones who deeply wounded them.

Unsurprisingly, this would have caused them to be deeply disgusted and to want to get away from the person or people who were harming them and couldn’t be trusted. Along with this, they are also likely to have experienced a sense of anger, rage, contempt, fear, terror, shame, helplessness, and hurt.

One Option

The trouble was that as they were powerless and totally dependent, they wouldn’t have been able to act on their need to get away from the parent or parents who was harming them. As a result of this, they would have had to repress their inner feedback and to tolerate what was going on.

Many, many years will have passed, but, as what they experienced internally won’t have been resolved, they are continually replaying this old scenario. For this to change, they are likely to have pain to face and work through and unmet developmental needs to experience.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, enmeshment, inner child, true self and inner awareness. With over three thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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