Debunk Those Fears and Experience a Full Life

‘fear‘ is defined by the dictionary as a ‘distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain etc whether the threat is real or imagined.

There has been much written and said about fears. Some people rather not use the actual word, but whether it is fear, anxiety, concern or whatever you choose to call it is likely a combination of physical and/or emotional reactions to something that is happening in your life or that you are afraid will happen. One of the keys to managing fear is the fact that you may be experiencing fear out of something that is not real. As a coach, I find that fears are a huge obstacle for people to achieve success in the goals they set out for themselves.

We have addressed fears in the past, but as we all know habits, good and bad take time to form and time to be transformed. Not to discount that some fears may be rooted in some psychological condition (in which case I would strongly encourage discussing it with a professional in that area) I would venture to say that many of our fears, can be minimized when we are aware of them, their impact in our life and of how to manage them.

Hence, the topic of Debunking Fears. I love to help people achieve their goals. I strive to encourage people to create action plans and to move forward in the direction of their dreams. However, during our conversations more often than not, we find that those dreams are undermined by the presence of certain saboteurs; also known as fears.

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along. You must do the thing you think you cannot do. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Another thing I’ve learned about fears is that they come in different shapes and forms. We know that fears may produce physical and mental pain, ruin your health, your wealth, your relationships, may damage your business or career and much more, but how do we recognize these thieves? That ability to appear through multiple personalities, sometimes makes it difficult to confront the reality of what is.
Some ways we might see fear being manifested:

 Overall feeling of inadequacy or inability; hence creating a low self-esteem and poor self-concept. This is very dangerous because these feelings can kill your motivation to achieve your maximum potential.
 “Can’t do” attitude which takes power away from you and transforms you in someone unable to live full, healthy, productive lives. This mentality disables rather than enables you to be in charge of your life because you are always at the mercy of what happens to you, instead of what you create for yourself.
 Creatures of habit; because we have learned some of these behaviors and ways of thinking for a long time, we have nurtured them and allowed them to manifest themselves in our lives, they become part of our nature. We are comfortable within the parameters of the fear and as a result we act and react accordingly.
 Resistance to change; again because some of the mentality has been incubated for so long, we tend to resist to anything that threatens to change what is known to us. The danger is that change often brings opportunity for growth and when we deny ourselves that, not only we might come across as inflexible; but we are also missing out in the prospect of learning.

Bottom line: fears become foundation for your negative way of thinking. Ultimately, when fears rule our lives we tend to hid to avoid change or growth; and we find ourselves in a cage that prevents us from action. We become blocked in our thinking, problem solving and decision making. All excellent reasons for debunking the fears in our lives.

So how do we do it? How do we rid ourselves of these sometimes, lifelong patterns of thinking and behavior that hold us back? Here are some suggestions:

1. Face the fear: recognize it, find it, acknowledge it and come to terms with the fact that it hinders you and that it will not go away by itself.
2. Once you face it; talk to yourself about the truth. If your fear comes from lacking something (scarcity mentality) remind yourself of the things that you have plenty of. You may want to start a gratitude journal and make a point each day to log in something new that you appreciate. i.e. supporting spouse, healthy children, satisfying career, comfortable home, etc.
3. Remember that you are in charge. In her book ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway‘ Dr. Susan Jeffers states that it is natural for all of us to feel fears. However, the difference rests in that some acknowledge the fear and move forward with the goal denying fear access or control. Ultimately, when we take charge, we are sending powerful messages of strength and courage; that builds momentum and next thing we know we are moving to the next step.
4. Connect with your source. Pray, meditate, connect with your higher self knowing and trusting the plan. Recognizing the authority and realizing that there is love and divine wisdom guiding your steps. When things get really challenging, this is a biggie for me.

There is only now, the present. Make a point to deny those self-limiting beliefs further access to your life. Remember that you have achieved before and refuse to be a victim. Make a firm decision to challenge those beliefs reminding yourself that most of the things we fear and worry about, are not real. What is your truth? Are you ready to make a change that will empower you to live a life that is full, productive and successful? Isn’t it time you take the reins of your life knowing that All Is Good?

Your external world is mirroring back what is within you. Your inner self will send out messages or power, control and authority or weakness and helplessness. What message are you sending? Only when you change the tune playing inside of you, will you be able to change what the rest of the world sees in you. How can you face those fears and debunk them? Next week, we’ll talk about practical tools you can put on your toolbox that will help you become a master at debunking fears; one at a time.
© 2010 Maria Martinez