Lack or breakdown of communication is the primary reasons marriages fail. Couples have to learn to talk and listen to each other if they desire a solid marriage.
Communication, most especially verbal is what makes us different from other animals and that is the foundation of all human relationship.

Two people cannot walk together except they agree and they can’t agree except they TALK. No marriage can be right if the parties involves have not mastered the act of communication.

Communication can either be:

  • Zero Communication: No communication at all, there is total black out
  • Negative Communication: Though there is communication, it is negative. It does not edify men or glorify God. It is full of lying, nagging, bitterness, abusive words, comparison, condemnation, blaming, cutting-remarks etc.
  • Ineffective Communication: It is not negative; but, it doesn’t fulfill the purpose which communication stands for .It involves half-truth, ambiguity, generalization, coloration of language, coded words, etc.
  • Effective Communication: This is a complete communication. It fulfills its purpose. It involves carrying the message to the hearer and getting a feedback. It involves sharing information, ideas, emotion, plans, vision, feelings, etc.

When communication is effective, marriage will be healthy, romantic, hot and sizzling. In other words, if your marriage is sick, it is either your communication is at zero level, negative or ineffective. When effective communication departs from home, frustration will definitely set in to destroy the family.
Effective communication allows couples to:

  • Discuss and explore solution
  • Be connected to each other
  • Express feelings and thought to each other.
  • Make one to understand one’s spouse feelings and thought.
  • Bring about intercourse of ideas.
  • Sort through issues and problems.
  • Minimize disagreement and argument.
  • Agree easily.
  • Be more closer
  • Enhances intimacy and fondness
  • Understand each other easily.
  • Build better and stronger marriage.

Communication basically involves three major things.

  • Thinking
  • Talking
  • Listening.

To have an effective communication, these three issues must be handled wisely. Your thinking must be right. You must learn to think positively about your spouse and issues at home, because your thinking will go ahead to influence your “talking” or “listening” either positively or negatively. That is why you must learn to sanitize your heart so that you may be able to control your ear and your tongue.
“Talking” is equally important .It can either be negative or positive, effective or ineffective. In talking, you must allow the spirit of God to control your tongue and you must obey the scripture.

Author's Bio: 

Bisi Adewale is an international conference speaker on marriage and family life, the author of these bestselling books: Secrets of an Irresistible Wife, Hot and Sizzling Marriage, 20 Highways to a Successful Marriage, Before you say I Do, and more than 60 other bestselling books on marriage, singleness, intimacy, sex, love, relationship, parenting and family life.

He is the president of Family Booster Ministry and College of Marital Success (CMS) (Africa’s Premier Marriage Institute), Host of Family Booster Moments on TV, watched in many countries across the globe.

Bisi Adewale also hosts the popular Lagos Couples’ Conference and breakthrough for singles summit, get a free book from him at, you can buy his books on or, join him on