Change is Unsettling. Sure, but ....

Changes can be unsettling. Honestly, they can be so scary they literally paralyze you in your tracks. Yet, without change we never achieve growth in our lives, careers, or relationships.

Recently I was faced with emergence of changes in the area of my career and whether to sell our home of 14 years. It wasn’t a decision made overnight, and even once I made the decision to leave my corporate job and too eventually sell my home it still wasn’t all together easy to embrace the idea of these significant changes.

Truth be told, there were a couple of days I actually needed to process the idea of the changes by “going down the tube“, which meant fully experiencing the depth of feelings that were present (i.e. fear, grief, regret, anxiety, etc). This down the tube journey was necessary to pop up and out of the tube equipped to explore and appreciate what is possible on this amazing journey forward. This is a journey forward from fear to greater freedom of living on purpose and aligned with my passions and dreams.

I am reminded of a wonderful quote by Marilyn Ferguson:

“Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is freedom.”

One awareness surfaced through this journey is often our fear is based on an old story we hold inside. What does that mean? For example, there was a time in my life (1996) when I almost left this world as a result of an illness that had been unchecked, or misdiagnosed. Up to that moment I had not really wanted to own a home and put down roots that deeply. However, after coming through this experience I had a different perspective on “home” and purchased the house I and my husband share today.

Fast forward to the decision to sell the house. I have been hesitating to make the decision to say yes to selling quite some time. I have been playing on the seesaw of “yes” and “no” and swimming in mirky pool of fear and anxiousness, despite feeling the positive pull toward a less complicated life. Then, the realization hit me like a ton of bricks.

This house was a representation of taking my life back after a devastating time in my life. It stood as my banner of living. It was a declaration of life and a message to the world that I was not going anywhere any time soon. This was the story created back in 1996 and the story that served me well until recently.

I have realized that to let go of this old story doesn’t mean I am not still in the game. It does’t mean I am suddenly going to disappear. It means I have lived and am living. It means I get yet another opportunity to consciously design my life forward. More important, I am not alone in the journey and get to design the new story of purpose and fulfillment with my husband who is my partner in life’s explorations.

I still feel a bit fearful at points along my journey, but I stop and ask myself what old story needs to be re-written now. And, I reach out to my allies and resources for help and support.

You can do the same thing. Ask yourself what stories are attached to your fears and consider what needs to be re-written. Then decide to make the change and commit to yourself.

Here are a couple of quotes to help you gain strength and motivation for your journey:

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”
- Dale Carnegie

“There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it.”
- Alfred Hitchcock

“I have accepted fear as a part of life, specifically the fear of change…I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says: turn back. . .”
– Erica Jong