After going through a breakup, a man could decide to take his time before he dates or merely share his body with another woman. If so, this can show that he has been greatly affected by what has happened.

Then again, this might not be the case but he might just want to take a break and focus on other areas of his life. This may show that certain areas of his life had been neglected.

One Scenario

If he has been greatly affected by what has happened, he won’t be in a position to simply ‘move on’. He can be in a lot of pain and it could be hard for him to carry on as normal.

Getting out of bed can then be a challenge and he might not have much energy throughout the day. If he were to talk about what is going on for him to a friend, they could be very understanding and supportive.

A Deep Hole

Along with the pain that he is experiencing as a result of his relationship coming to an end, there can be pain that has been unlocked from his early years. Therefore, although he will be an adult, the pain that he experienced as a child and was repressed wouldn’t have simply disappeared.

This pain will have been held inside his unconscious mind, and, after be bonded with a woman and this bond was broken, some of it will have entered his conscious awareness. Naturally, with this additional pain, it will be harder for him to handle what he is going through.

Seeing It Through

Now that this pain has been unlocked, it will be a good idea for him to face and work through it, along with the pain that has arises due to the breakup. If he doesn’t do this and just pushes it out of his conscious awareness, he is likely to come into contact with it after he experiences another breakup or a loss.

At this point, it is likely to be even harder for him to handle how he feels. The reason for this is that there is likely to be more pain than before.

A Process

When it comes to how long it will take him to work through this pain, it can all depend on how much pain he is carrying. It could take a number of months or this could go on for even longer.

Even so, it probably won’t be necessary for him to have worked through all this pain before he is ready to let another woman into his life. What matters is that he listens to himself and does what is right for him.

Another Scenario

Conversely, after a man has experienced a breakup, it might not be long until he shares his body with another woman. After a few months have passed, he might have had sex with a number of different women.

From the outside, it can seem as though he has moved on from his ex-girlfriend. And, if his ex-girlfriend were to hear about some of the things that he has been doing, she could also come to the same conclusion and believe that she didn’t mean much to him.

A Closer Look

Now, he may have moved on and having sex with different women can be a way for him to take care of his sex drive and experience a sense of freedom. After a while, he might lose interest in behaving in this way and end up dating a woman.

At the same time, how he is behaving can primarily be a way for him to avoid the pain that he is in. If this is the case, his pain, along with certain needs, will have become sexualised, which will have increased his sex drive, and, by having sex, he will be able to keep this pain from entering his conscious awareness and release tension.

Another Element

The breakup will then have had a big impact on him and he won’t have moved on. Along with this, he can be unconsciously looking for the love that he missed out on as a child.

On one level, another woman won’t be his mother, but at a deeper level, he can see another woman as his mother. By having sex with her, he will be able to symbolically receive the love that he missed out on.

Two Levels

What this illustrates is that there is how a man will see a woman consciously and how he will see a woman unconsciously. Having sex will then allow him to feel loved but as a woman is not his mother and it is too late for him to receive this love, this won’t be an inner experience that will last.

Thus, to keep his pain at bay and avoid facing how he feels, he will need to continually have sex with different women. At one stage or another, behaving in this way might not allow him to avoid how he feels.

Moving Forward

He could then find another way to avoid how he feels or he could face how he feels. If the latter takes place, this will allow him to become a more integrated human being.

Instead of his life being driven by his need to avoid how he feels, he can be driven by his need to freely express himself. Working through his pain and experiencing his unmet developmental needs will take courage, patience and persistence.


If a man can relate to this and he is ready to change his life, he may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis cover all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, enmeshment, inner child, true self and inner awareness. With over three thousand, six hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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