Is your relationship boring? Is it time to trade in your boyfriend or girlfriend for a newer sexier model? The boring relationship is a crossroad many couples come across together. This is when the two of you have become comfortable and accustomed to life together, that things have begun to take on a dull appearance. The good news is that just like you can polish up your car to a sparkling shine, you can do the same to your relationship. All that time, love, and emotion is a shame to waste when with a little elbow grease, your love can be just a beautiful as it was in the beginning. Besides, if you don’t appreciate what you have in front of you, someone else will! Before you go out and start shopping around for something new, try adding a little more spice to your existing relationship.

The thing to remember is that relationships go through changes, just like everything does. Changes are not always bad; in fact change is a good thing. As the two of you nurtured your relationship, you began to build something real and substantial. As the relationship matured, some of that thrill of the chase feeling gave way to the content and satisfied happy together feeling. This is when the perception of a boring relationship began to fester into couples minds. When you were single and bouncing from relationship to relationship; you were searching for something special and meaningful that only two people can share together. Now that you have finally achieved it, you naturally have a sense of loss for that excitement of not knowing where this relationship will end up. But it is not a loss, it is the attainment of your goal; and your mind is wondering what is next.

Other things have been happening in your life as well during this building of the relationship. The two of you probably have begun making plans and goals together such as saving for a new home, getting married, having a baby, or many other things that couples think about doing together. The resources that used to be applied to things like spontaneous trips or finding new restaurants neither of you have tried; are now being reserved for your plans together for your future. Again this can appear to be a loss in the back of your mind, because it was so much fun going new places and such; but what you are accomplishing together is so much more than that. But combined with the lifecycle of a relationship, and the reduction of activities, your relationship can appear to be getting boring.

Now although you are working towards your future together and maybe even the future family, you can still make a little more time for each other. Not only do our relationship grow as we learn, but we do as well. It is important to recognize and acknowledge our feelings and not to stuff them away. If either of you are experiencing the boring relationship blues, acknowledge that, and do something about it. While it is important to plan and save for your future, it is important to remember that life is short, and should be enjoyed, especially together. By no means should you raid the savings account and throw caution to the wind with a month long European tour, but you can decide together to set aside an “US” fund to be able to go and do what you enjoyed doing together before.

Make sure that you talk to each other, and share your feelings and don’t try to hide them from your partner. Stored feelings have a way of breaking free with a vengeance and biting both of you down the line. Of course effective communication is critical in any relationship. Coming out and accusing your lover of being a boring kill joy is not the way to start any conversation. Express your feelings gently, and effectively so the two of you can come to a realization and solution together. By saying you miss driving around town in search of a hidden restaurant off the beaten trail, allows for them to say “I was just thinking the same thing”. This, by the way is much better than having them get defensive because they think you are attacking them or the relationship.

So even that boring relationship still has a lot of shine left in it. There is so much more to be experienced together. Just remember to save a little bit of money and time for just the two of you. Keep the communication lines open, and express your feelings to each other. Learn how to talk without attacking, and keep yourself open to everything, especially opportunities to grow. And by all means, before you go out and start shopping around for someone new and shiny, try adding a little more spice to your existing relationship. Love is something special, and not everyone gets the opportunity to experience it in its true form. Nurture it, and enjoy its many rewards.

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