Remember when your kids were little and you thought they would never grow up? You felt like you were going to be tying sneakers forever, going to parent/teacher conferences and endless soccer tournaments till you were old and gray.

Well, you are older…maybe gray…maybe not. But, they really DID grow up! They no longer need you in the ways they did before. That certainly doesn’t mean they don’t need you, just differently.

You did the best you could do as a parent. You gave them to best you had to offer. That certainly is no guarantee that they are doing everything in their young adulthood the way you want them to ………but then again, did you do everything your parents wished and hoped for?

Here are 7 secrets to help you let go and hold on; all in a nice balance.

* How are your listening skills? You gave them all kinds of good advice in the past. Now is the time to listen.
* Can you listen with your heart? This is a time to listen so well that you aren’t formulating your answers while they are talking.
* Can you listen with an open attitude? They will be more likely to come and talk to you if they believe you will not judge or criticize them.
* Can you be an available shoulder? They may not want your advice, just an ear. If you are not sure what they want, try asking them what they need right now from you.
* What do you have to offer that is not money? You have taught them to be independent and self sufficient. Rescuing them with cash may not be the best solution. If you start, when do you stop? If it’s necessary, make it a loan.
* How is your patience? They may not be putting all your wisdom to good use yet. Or, maybe they are but not quite in the way you had planned on or hoped for. It’s ok.
* How is your optimism? Your children will know if you trust them and are optimistic about their future. It will give them the confidence to create their own best life.

What a wonderful gift you have given them over the years. Not always perfect, but that wouldn’t be the real world anyway.

Now relax and enjoy the fruits of your labor!

Author's Bio: 

Kim Kirmmse Toth lcsw, acc is a Transitions Strengths Based Coach and Trainer specializing in CEO's, Executives and Entrepreneurs: Life after Work. If you are ready to begin creating the next big transition in your life, to ensure it's as successful as your career get your Free Top Ten Secrets to a Successful Retirement now at or visit