The issues that we develop throughout our life as accumulated experiences that form the same theme become the means through which we interpret all things to give them the same type of meaning. We make them about the same thing. The meaning we give them spawns a reality around them as a form of self-delusion. We make-up a story in our imagination that forms an assumption as a belief that we then mistaken for reality, and act on as if it’s real. We then fail to actually ask or inquire to get the view-point of the other person that would explain their behavior in their own terms that would allow us to not only gain an understanding of them, but would also introduce the doubt necessary to begin undermining our own beliefs allowing us to transform them. But instead we project onto them, and make them about us. We simply proceed based on our own interpretation which is in reality a correspondence to the past based on the memories and what they mean about us that we used as a means of composing our story about it.
How we interpret things creates experiences of a certain type of meaning. It’s the template that we use to decide what to include and what to leave out. We only notice and use what serves our purpose in terms of recreating the same type of experience that validates and proves a belief we have about what’s really going on. Any other aspects inherent within it that don’t serve to tell the type of story we need to tell, we leave out, ignore, or don’t even notice. We then take the abstracted elements and compose them in a way that the telling of the story reconfirms our belief about what was really going on in any given situation.
Many times we won’t even ask or talk to them about it, because somewhere deep down inside we don’t want our story rendered invalid, because it’s based on our identity and it’s our personal creation that causes us to feel a certain way about ourselves. We literally don’t know how to feel different about ourselves. If the person tells us a whole different story, we either can’t identify with it, we don’t know how to be in relationship with it, or we think they’re lying to us. We then talk to them in such a way to provoke what we deem to be the right answer. We introduce our thoughts with an emotional punch that stimulates the same emotion in them, changing their “perceptual lens” to be of the same nature as ours. We then engage in our illusion as our made-up version of things that act to convince them to agree with us. Even to the point of forsaking their own experience in favor of ours.
We may blame, accuse, antagonize, become aggressive and act hurt, or become suspicious and begin doubting and questioning them which ultimately calls them a liar. Not because they actually are, but because we have an “issue” around being lied to. So we need them to fill that role and co-create that type of experience with us. Then, just the reaction itself and the experience we create for the other person, makes them afraid to tell us things, and they begin hiding things, not because that’s the way “they” are, but because we have demonstrated to them that we can’t be trusted and therefore they need to be careful of what they say to us. We teach them to lie to us by how we act in relationship with them. We bring out in others the necessary qualities for them to become player in our story, which is in reality and illusion created out of a belief that we formed around an issue. And for the most part . . . we don’t even realize that that’s what we’re doing. Our illusions are how we experience others and the world in general, and seem so real that it doesn’t even dawn on us to question them. In this, our beliefs become our reality in the most fundamental sense, and we repeat the same type of relationships over-and-over.

Linda Gadbois, DES., CCHt.
Spiritual Scientist, Teacher and Mentor

Author's Bio: 

Dr. Spiritual Sciences
BA Clinical Hypnotherapy
Master Trainer NLP