Everyday, as we walk our daily routine, there is a constant internal dialogue happening. Whether we are working, relaxing, having meals or taking a walk, our mind is prevailed by this never ending chain of questions. It is very significant to ask questions and it is very important to try to answer these questions. But we must be very careful because Some questions lead to Answers, others lead to Confusions.

When we are too much busy, it becomes certainly difficult to focus on the type of questions that should really be asked and in such situations, it is vital to ask the right questions because we don't want to deviate from our path. Right questions have the power to keep us intact and stable in our journey through life, whereas other questions can mislead us.

I personally am a strong believer of this idea and it has been sold to me a number of times. The idea is, we have answers to all our questions. The problem is, they are dug too deep within us that we are sort of unable to revive them or we are too much concentrated on the issue at hand that we cannot focus on the process of finding the answers and therefore, sometimes we need external assistance. But that is alright...!! That is completely fine..!!

There is a series of questions that one must ask when dealing with a particular issue and I want to share it with you.

1. Open Ended, Broad Questions

This is where you start. These questions can be phrased in a way that they are specific, in a way that they can help you in moving on with the process of solution generating. And you should be open to all the questions that come into your mind. It is highly recommended that you write these questions and leave space for the answers if you want to, or you also answer right away. Here you ask yourself a number of broad questions like,

What has happened?
What was possibly the reason?
How it has affected me or anyone else?
Who was involved?
Where would it lead to? do I hold anyone responsible for this?

2. Probing Questions

These are the questions that you ask to gain more details about the challenge you are dealing with. From the first type of questions, you know have the idea where exactly the challenge lies and now your job is to get more details specifically about that challenge. You can do this by asking these probing questions as if going deeper in the subject. Answering these questions will enable you to have more details about the issue and these details will help you moving further. The questions could be like,

Why has this happened?
How exactly do I feel about this?
How different would things be, if it has not happened?

3. Clarifying Questions

These are really important because from here, you are now starting to come to a solution or a decision. For this, you need to have a conversation with yourself in order to clarify. You need to have an internal dialogue in order to determine what exactly needs to be done in that specific situation. This is about demands and expectations and determination to better things. Examples

Is there anything I can do to stop it happening again in the future?
What do I want to be different?
How can I make it the way I want?

4. Closed Questions

These concluding questions are very helpful and mostly you only need to give a YES or a NO as an answer. Of course, you can pen in more details if you will and certainly that is even more helpful but to start with, a YES or NO is sufficient. Examples of closed questions are,
Have I understood what I need to do to deal with this challenge?
Do I need some outside help or can I do it myself?
Am I open to make changes in my life in order to get a solution?

An important point that I want to make here is, this is a series and to attain better results, I imply that this process of questioning and answering should be thoroughly done. To find solution for a specific challenge, asking questions is not all there is but it is a vital first step that gives you an insight on how big or small the challenge is and how can you go about it. It will also make you confident because after going through this process, you will have a road map of all the dimensions that your issue is spread. Remember, you have the power in you, it just needs to be properly channelized. You already have everything you need to deal with life, you just need a little focus.

Author's Bio: 

S. Awais Asif is a Certified Life Coach and NLP Practitioner from AUNLP. He works with people trying to find concrete directions in life, helping them with Goal Setting and Planning. Reach him at awais@sawaisasif.com