Most of us at one time or other have confided in a friend, or family member, and later realized that it was not such a smart thing to do. You may have disclosed personal information and they gave you uncalled-for advice. You may have been judged and hurt your feelings - but if you tell someone personal information, you must be aware that there may be consequences. It's not what you say, it's whom you say it to. Different boundaries have to be set with every person you know.

There is no such thing as being too sensitive. You may be a sensitive person, but if you've been hurt by what someone has said or done, it's because you haven't set a healthy boundary with that person. Somewhere along the line, you've given them the permission that you accept what they do or say. So the next time you feel you've been slighted consider this:

Every boundary can be divided into parts.

A. The behavior -- this is where you ask yourself if your friend's behavior was unacceptable to you. Obviously if you feel hurt, it's unacceptable.

B. The description -- this is where you feel what went on, example: were you judge, hurt, angry? It's all about your feelings.

C. Your commitment -- this is what you intend to do. It's where you set the boundary. You protect yourself from being hurt.

Here's why it's so important to set healthy boundaries with others.

-- you're taking responsibility for what you need in a relationship
-- you're demanding equality and respect
-- you're listening to your inner voice and you're being heard by others
-- you develop more self-esteem
-- you feel empowered
-- you become a friend to yourself

Always remember that, you have the right to think the way you think, and say what you say. So, don't accept belittling jokes, sarcastic remarks or anything else that you feel is wrong. You're entitled to express your feelings.

When you set healthy boundaries, other people will respect them and they won't cross them. No one can hurt you unless you're permitting them to do so.

Author's Bio: 

I am a Psychotherapist and Internationally Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor, specializing in all addictive behaviors: alcohol, drugs, food, compulsive sex, gambling, compulsive shoplifting, codependency and relationship/family issues.

I have a private practice as well as provide coaching/recovery coaching/consultation on the phone or on the web.

Have a problem? Contact me on the site. It's free.