A positive self image is one of the most essential things we can have in our quest for happiness. It is also very important in being able to find love and create a healthy relationship.

Your self image is the way you see yourself. Your thoughts, feelings and beliefs about what kind of a person you are. Many people have a negative image of themselves which has no valid basis in reality. It is all too easy to focus on our bad points, and ignore or dismiss our good qualities. Human beings have a terrible tendency to focus on what’s wrong rather than what’s right.

To improve your self image, there are many things you can do. These things can include reading uplifting books or articles, using affirmations, and in some cases therapy can be wonderfully helpful. A negative image can be deeply ingrained and quite difficult to get rid of. Changing a negative image to a positive one is incredibly important, and I encourage you to make it a priority if your image of yourself is less than healthy.

Right now, I want to focus on the importance of a healthy self respect in the pursuit of love and happiness.

Feeling bad about yourself creates negative energy. People are attracted to others who have a positive and joyful energy. Think about the people you really like being around. They make you feel good, right? This is because they feel good, about themselves, and about life in general.

Not many people enjoy being around others who are negative, unless they are also pretty gloomy themselves. The old saying about misery loving company does often hold true.

If you want people to enjoy being around you, and you don’t want to attract only miserable types, it’s time to focus on creating a positive outlook and self image.

When it comes to finding love, there are a few aspects of relationships that can be affected by the image we have of ourselves.

The first is that others tend to take their cues from the way we think of, and treat, ourselves. If we see that someone is kind and respectful towards themselves, we believe that this is the way that they should be treated, and we follow their lead. If someone is very negative about themselves and acts as if they don’t deserve love or kindness, we generally assume that they know best!

If you have a poor opinion of yourself, and don’t believe that you are worthy of love, potential partners pick up on this belief. Most people will not stick around to persuade you, and themselves, that your self image is wrong, and you are indeed a wonderful person who is worthy of love and happiness.

Whether it is conscious, or subconscious, we usually believe that the image other people hold of themselves is true.

Do you pity the beautiful but chronically unhappy woman who always chooses neglectful partners? You are simply reflecting the feelings she has of herself and projects to the world.

On the other hand, you most likely have respect and admiration for the bus driver, who, despite not being wealthy or especially handsome, has a good self image and is happy and upbeat.

We often like or admire people in direct proportion to how much they like and admire themselves. If you want to have genuine love from a partner, the place to start is by creating that quality of love for yourself.

Another way relationships are affected by our self image is our ability to give love. If you don’t know how to have a healthy relationship with your only lifelong companion (yourself!), it is very unlikely you can love anyone else in a healthy way either. We learn to love by first loving ourselves.

The Bible says we should love our neighbors as ourselves. Well, if your self image is negative, and your feelings towards yourself tend more towards loathing than loving, your neighbors can expect to be loathed as well.

In romantic partnerships, very few people with a positive self image will want to be with someone who is critical of themselves, and as a result, equally critical of their partner.

It can take a lot of time and effort to transform a negative self image into a positive and loving one, but there are few better ways to use your time and energy. A healthy self regard is one of the biggest assets you can ever have. It will benefit you in so many ways, not only in relationships, but in every aspect of your life.

Feeling good about yourself makes you happy. It makes other people happy too. Positive people are inspiring to be around. Believing you deserve love and happiness acts as a magnet.

Expecting to be treated well by a partner is the very best way to achieve just that, and knowing how to love yourself means you also know how to love others. In a romantic partnership, the ability to give and receive love is the basis for a healthy and happy relationship.

Try affirming that ‘I am a worthwhile and worthy person. I have unlimited love to give to myself and others. I deserve love and I am open to receiving everything good in life.’ This may feel very uncomfortable at first, especially if you truly believe the opposite, but stick with it. You will eventually begin to believe it if you repeat it often enough!

With time and patience, you can transform your self image into the kind we are all born with but too often lose as we grow up. An image that tells you loud and clear that you are worth it!

Author's Bio: 

I'm Amanda Harvey, and for as long as I can remember, I've had a passion for personal development and empowerment. My focus has always been on making life as good as it can be, both for myself and others.

Early in my career, I expressed this focus through teaching ballroom dancing. I loved the way that it helped people come alive and take their minds off their everyday worries, as well as giving them confidence and bringing them joy.

After managing a dance studio in Sydney, Australia for a few years, my desire to experience more of the world started me on the journey of living abroad with my new husband (not so new anymore…. married 22 years in 2020).

Having completed my Masters Degree in Communications, my career developed as a coach and trainer with both individuals and companies. After several years in various parts of Europe, our wanderlust led us to Asia, and we have been living in Taiwan since just before the arrival of the first of our three children in 2004.

I ran a successful online life coaching business, choosing-life-my-way.com, from 2010 to 2015. The work I did with people through the site, and the feedback I got was wonderful, but time constraints led me to close down the site in 2015. With the increased demand for in-person services for local clients, and the time I wanted to spend with my growing family, I followed my own advice: We can have it all, but not always all at once.

Fast forward to 2020 and I am now launching mindsettable.com, my brand new site. With all the years of rich and varied experience, I am focusing on bringing to you the most valuable, specific and effective form of training that I have discovered. Mindset training zeroes in on the biggest factor that determines the success or failure of anything that we undertake, and I am so excited to work with people like you, who know that our lives can be as amazing as we want them to be. If we only decide to make it so.

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