In general, the more creative the date, the better. An original date is a memorable and surefire way to impress your partner. The first impression sets the tone of the occasion, and there's no better way to ensure a fun date.

Girls are perfectly comfortable sitting and chatting, as this is their most natural element, so most men assume that this is actually what girls want to do on a date. The fact is, however, that you are probably not as comfortable and competent carrying on a conversation as she is (when it comes to the social arena, women generally dominate ala Jordan vs Portland in the '95 Finals).

It follows that passive dates (aka dinner dates) are oftentimes a poor idea.

1) Everyone does them; you want her to think you're different from all of other schlubs she's been dating. You are a man of few words but much action, after-all.

2) It puts you in a situation where you can talk too much. You want to remain a mystery for as long as possible and, in general, dinner dates are boring and afford plenty of opportunities for you to spill your guts about yourself and your boring philosophies. Communicating with women requires a much different skill-set than communicating with men. Women focus on feelings and tone over verbal content and conclusions, and misunderstandings are bound to occur during your first couple of dates. I advise dinner dates only if you are dating three or more women a week (once you've dated a lot of women you can change the game however you please, you earned it). When you get really good at connecting rather than simply talking, passive dates regain their appeal.

3) It sets the frame that you are paying for her attention. This is extremely dangerous. With so many gold-diggers looking for a man and a 'lifestyle increase' (or even just girls who use men for the excitement of dates), the less cash you spend on the date the better, that way its very clear from the beginning that you are not looking for someone to support and that you can have a great time without dropping a bunch of pesos on some trendy new French-Japanese Fusion restaurant. If she insists on dinner at an upscale restaurant or is taken back by your rustic dates, run away - she wants a salary and not a boyfriend. Home-made blue-cheese burgers on the George Foreman should thrill, rather than bore, your date.


Active dates are better than passive dates because they take the girl out of her comfort zone. Men enjoy taking up action- this is perfectly natural, and thankfully many women understand this inherently. So instead of a boring, costly and most of all extremely average dinner and a movie, try the following date ideas:

1) Mini-Golf or Batting Cage- Most women haven't played mini-golf since they were very young. Its an unbelievably effective date. Make sure to smack your date with the putter while she's in mid-stroke!

2) Comedy Show- Laughter releases endorphins normally reserved for after-sex.

3) Wine Bar- Some large cities have upscale classy bars where only wine is served. Women love these bars.

4) Walk along the beach- An old standby which usually precedes making out on the sand.

5) Elvis impersonator- Find one of these guys playing at a local bar. Chicks dig the king!

6) Air Hockey/Arcade- This is dependent on your date's individual taste but air hockey is really fun.

7) Clothes shopping at the mall (for you, not for her)- Make her dress you up like a her own personal Ken doll. Women love this date.

8) Hookah bar- If she's a funky kinda girl and into bohemian settings, hookah bars make great dates.

9) Park/Botanical Garden/Picnic- Use the power of nature's beauty to your advantage.

10) Amusement Parks

11) Hike/Nature Walk

12) Old school ice cream parlor- Some towns have old style malt shoppes which serve great milkshakes.

13) Hot tub (with party wine glasses and bottle of wine)- This date also works if you sneak a bottle of wine into the movie theater. Go to a party store and get two plastic wine glasses. Pair it with a bottle of wine and take it down to the neighborhood spa (I go to a posh neighborhood and jump the fence into the community hot tub, your mileage may very).

14) Lookout spot- Most cities (sorry Midwest) have a lookout spot off the beaten trail where you can get a glimpse of the whole city and its surrounding skyline. Take your date to places you happen upon your explorations- she'll take delight in your discoveries.

15) Long road trip (esp. to Indian casino or through mountainous terrain)

16) Star gazing with telescope- Consider camping in the backyard for the night.

17) Errands- Just go about your daily errands (picking up dry-cleaning, supermarket, mailbox) and have her tag along. This is my personal favorite date, and it's extremely productive!

18) Karaoke- Only go if you are willing to sing.

19) Museum

20) Paint your own pottery/DIY art store- Make her a piece of tacky multicolored pottery and win her heart.

Random Dating Tips:

Its good to take a girl out of her element. This forces her to trust in your guidance and provides her with a memorable story that she can't wait to tell her friends when you drop her off. Use the following rule of thumb: take classy girls to trashy bars and trashy girls to classy bars. It'll be fun for you to watch her reaction and fun for her to experience something completely out of the ordinary.

You never tell your date where you are going. You just tell her to wear comfortable shoes (e.g. NOT heels, as most girls that are on dates have a tendency to wear) and to 'look cute.' This adds to the mystery and builds anticipation. Women love the feeling of anticipation.

You know you've had a great date if: 1) You've learned a tremendous amount about your date and, 2) She knows extremely little about you but still feels very comfortable being around you.

If its the first date, she gets no kiss (you're going to make her wait for it until the second). This too builds anticipation. The only time a kiss is acceptable on the first date is if you think she didn't have a good time. In this way the kiss acts as a test- if you kiss her and she's into it, that means she's very interested just reserved. If you kiss her and she pulls back quickly, you can safely assume you've just been on your first and last date.

At the end of the date you never tell her if you're going to call her or when you want to see her again. Just look deeply in her eyes and say, "I had a great time doing [activity] with you. Thanks." Then get back in your car and drive away. She'll think you're cooler than James Dean sipping a Singapore Sling on an arctic glacier. You call back several days after your date to arrange another get together the following week. Your dates are once week for at least the first six months (unless she's begging to see you, of course). Again, this is all to build upon the pre-wired anticipation mechanism seemingly found in the DNA of women everywhere.

Author's Bio: 

JR is a writer for the self-help website Zen Articles, located at To visit the Zen Presence Persona Development System, click here: