Scenario A: You’re a man in a room predominantly full of women at a convention. You sell websites and website hosting. As a man, how will you talk with women in a professional, ethical, meaningful way to successfully sell your products and services?

Scenario B: You’re a woman in a room predominantly full of men at a convention. You sell websites and website hosting. As a woman, how will you talk with men in a professional, ethical, meaningful way to successfully sell your products and services?

You find the answer to both scenarios using the word empathetic. When you listen to what the prospect wants, you must genuinely act empathetic to his or her needs. So, a man must hear a woman’s issue and sincerely want to help her solve them. In sales copy, either written or spoken, that means the copy words (and message) must reflect what is meaningful to a woman’s mindset.

The same is true for a woman...she must hear the man’s issue and sincerely want to help him solve his issue. She must think like a man and speak to his personal agenda. You must convey that you want what the prospect wants AND that your product or service fulfills the prospect’s need and want.

You must RELATE to what the client is FEELING, you must empathize with the client (or target market’s) issue and genuinely want to DO something to improve or fulfill the client’s need/want/situation.

AND, to close the sale, you must first focus on suggesting ideas that improve the prospect’s situation without focusing on selling him or her something. When you provide useful information that benefits the client, you stop being viewed as a sales person and instead fill the position of “trusted advisor” (a great market position.)

Remember, the customer-salesperson relationship is important as well as a sale. Once the client feels that you genuinely are on his or her side THAT is when you increase your chances of a sale.

Develop A Meaningful Relationship With The Prospect/Customer
When you develop that meaningful relationship, you can show the client your product’s or service’s pivotal influence for problem resolution. What does that mean? You must speak the language that person needs to hear before he or she will believe you really care about helping him or her.

Your Unique Brain Design
Each individual’s brain design determines his or her preferred way of interpreting the world. That means that each person’s brain, from birth, is designed to think and achieve goals according to a proprietary brain design. “Proprietary” means unlike anyone else’s. Naturally using your brain’s preferred way of thinking, you mainly think in a specific order of your brain’s 4 quadrants. If someone expects you to think in an order different from your brain’s physical design, mental conflict can result.

For example, if your brain design contains RNA and DNA instructions so you effortlessly prefer to do brain surgery as an occupation, but you somehow feel coerced into doing ballet dancing, you will most likely feel frustrated and probably do ballet poorly. To effortlessly excel and feel fulfilled during life, follow your natural tendencies (in this example, doing brain surgery.) Pursue your passion. When you do what you LOVE to do, the sales will follow because you genuinely want to help your prospect fulfill his or her business desire.

So, listen to your prospect and communicate with them in their preferred language. Want what the PROSPECT wants. Too often, salespeople try to sell something the salesperson wants the prospect to want. Doing business using this mindset is how we as salespeople lose sales and deny ourselves of creating new and interesting relationships with other people.

Want what your prospect wants. Make your prospect’s wants and needs be meaningfully important to you. Freely share knowledge that helps your prospect. Do things so your prospect knows your actions to help him or her achieve their goals means something important to you, too.

The Way The Human Brain Thinks
The brain contains the equivalent of 4 living computer software programs. (I call them thoughtware programs because we activate them using thought.) The 4 brain quadrants communicate using their own specific languages and understand each other. You can consciously learn and use these 4 languages as you communicate with prospects. Appropriately use these 4 unique brain language programs and you effortlessly achieve your business, personal, and recreational life goals.

Researchers recognize a unique relationship between the brain’s 4 quadrants. They actually communicate and learn from each other. (See The Creative Brain by Ned Herrmann for more fascinating information about the brain.)

As a certified hypnotic consultant since 1988, and brain dialog researcher, I teach people how to think “success” using hypnotic brain dialog. Sales people learn how to write right brain/left brain sales copy to appropriately appeal to their particular sales audience. Using prospect specific brain dialog gets your brain to grant your sales wishes. Looking to make a sale? Ask your brain to think like your prospect.

For example, if you hear a prospect say, “I envision making a million dollars this year. Can you help me do that?” The first thing you would do is think about the exact words the client used to express his or her desire. If you focus on visual-based words and these being repeated by the customer (i.e., envision, look, picture, see, etc.) you know this person predominantly thinks visually, from the upper right brain.

So, to subconsciously develop trust and rapport, you would purposely respond using visual words. You might say, “I picture many possibilities. Let’s see what is possible.” The words “picture” and “see” are also visual words. “Look” is another visual word. So, if you start listening to your prospects and how they express themselves, you can quickly develop an underlying rapport to increase your sales chances.

The same phenomenon applies to auditory processing. “This sounds like a good deal to me.” –kinesthetic (feeling) processing, “That really touched me. I feel what you’re feeling.” and straight logic, “I think I understand…that computes…that makes sense to me.” When you start listening to the 4 languages your prospect uses, you can greatly develop a long-term customer relationship. But this article only briefly touches on how to write the correct-brained copy for your particular target audience. (Contact me to arrange for a customized training session for your sales team.)

Your Mind & Brain Work Together Like A Computer & Computer Software
Almost anytime we express a strong emotion, we create a hypnotic mind state. We naturally and routinely experience self-hypnosis doing familiar feeling actions like focusing on doing a sales presentation, concentrating, focusing, reading, or intently listening. Once we’ve hypnotized ourselves, we then mentally suggest an idea to believe. Believe self-limiting ideas and you struggle. Believe self-empowering suggestions and you effortlessly achieve desired goals.

Communicate & Your Brain Acts Like A Radio Transmitter and Receiver
Your brain acts like a radio transmitter and receiver sending and receiving thought waves. Like a radio receiver, when we “tune in” to a certain thought, each thought actually emits a broadcast on its own frequency. People feel attracted to that broadcast and respond with a frequency message of the same vibration. For example, “tune in” to thoughts about a genuinely helping a prospect solve a problem and you attract prospects that will naturally come to you for your products or services. Use the following tips to increase your genuine prospect sales presentation empathy and close sales:

1-Purposely learn how to do natural, normal, effortless self-hypnosis. From birth already within our brain’s design, we routinely hypnotize ourselves throughout our day. Consciously use it, and get you what you want during life, including increased sales. To learn self-hypnosis, contact the National Guild of Hypnotists at (603) 429-9438 in Merrimack, New Hampshire. You can also learn how to hypnotize yourself by getting the book How To Easily, Pleasantly, Safely Hypnotize by Susan Fox.

2-Sit down and write out a simple phrase about assuming you’re going to find people with an unsolved problem you can solve with your products or services. A simple phrase about your desired goal could be, “I choose to find 5 people today with (the unsolved problem) my product/services resolve.” So, if you create and sell websites, you would think something like, “I choose to find 5 people today who need to promote their business using a website.” When both brain sides see your written statements, you consciously communicate ideas to your 4 brain quadrants. Your brain interprets your ideas using the brain’s 4 views. So, by writing down one idea, your brain interprets it 4 ways.

Understanding one idea four ways, you improve message comprehension to create the best answer for you. Commit to achieving your goal. Write on paper the personal benefits to yourself of actually doing something to achieve your goal (in this case, finding people who need customers via a website.) Consistently and repeatedly thinking, imagining and feeling benefits of helping yourself achieve your goal, your brain will inspire you to do things to actually achieve it. Developing this skill results in stimulating natural brain chemistry to help you get sales.

3-Relax. When you choose to relax, you most likely create a hypnotic mind state. Relaxing is a way we can hypnotize ourselves. By relaxing, we naturally
activate and use our nervous system’s inborn, instinctive, internal instructions for natural, usual, effortless learning. You can use your brain like a valuable sales team member for your goal achieving.

4-Focus on HOW you’d like to achieve your goals. Would you like to effortlessly, pleasantly, enjoyably achieve your goal (increased sales)? Mentally review in detail a past, successfully achieving increase sales, and again feel these desired feelings. Imagine that you can repeat your prosperous sales experience using the same past technique (because you can!).

FEEL those successful feelings again in your mind and body. Mentally rehearse feeling the past sales success within. Say something like, “I feel so grateful I naturally attract people and involve myself in situations where I easily receive thousands and thousands of dollars in sales each year. I choose to see the opportunity everywhere and effortlessly enjoy helping others feel fulfilled during life.” Visualize each new sales goal as if you’ve already successfully achieved it until you actually, physically achieve your new goal.

5-Use your brain’s 4 thoughtware programs for life success. Ask yourself 4 thoughtware viewpoint questions directly related to achieving your goal within each of your brain quadrant’s individual main interest/purposes, which are: 1)efficiently completing the task, 2)feeling specific, personally meaningful feelings about successful goal achievement, 3)enjoyment/entertainment value while doing the task and 4)accuracy regarding your goal.

In our example, the current goal is to find business prospects interested in getting more customers via a website. As a sales person, you ask yourself, 1)“What can I do to efficiently sell a website to 5 new customers today?”, 2)”What can I do to feel happy about helping others get more business customers via a website?” 3)”What can I do to appreciate what I’m doing to help others experience business success?” 4)”What method can I accurately use to find 5 new customers today and actually sell them a website?”

There are direct benefits to asking for and receiving input from each of the 4 brain quadrant’s viewpoints. You will experience less internal conflict/indecision regarding implementing your choices when you have first listened to each quadrant’s input. (We all like to feel heard, right?) You will experience more peace, satisfaction and success in your actions, when your 4 brain quadrants work harmoniously for you.

6-As appropriate, write out your answers to the asked questions in #5. We use written out goal achievement plans like a roadmap. The brain sees the written ideas on paper and uses them as motivational instructions for goal completion. (i.e., actually contact businesses, tell myself I’m providing a great service, join a professional association and network with business people, etc..) Then, your brain feels a sense of control seeing individual tasks described on paper that will result in goal completion. As you enact the plan steps, the brain can feel relaxed. Once each brain part feels acknowledged as valuable, it relaxes. Once relaxed, your entire brain willingly supports your forward moving actions until you actually achieve your goal.

7-If necessary, ask for help. In the business world, people routinely consult with obvious experts when “stuck” for a complete, effective answer. No one can know all information for all situations. So, if you still need training or assistance to get new customers for your website business, consult with someone. Asking for help, you time- and resource-effectively do what you need to do to achieve your goal.

8-Mentally ASSUME you already successfully achieved your goal. Imagining many options exist for you to find 5 new website customers today, your brain looks for success opportunities previously unnoticed. Visualize alternate scenarios in which you already got new customers. When you think in “possibility” terms, you effortlessly excel.

9-If you hear jealous criticism, b-r-e-a-t-h-e. By design, one of your brain quadrants naturally analyzes situations. The brain considers criticism a part of internal instruction meant to guide you to “do things right.” However, when we endlessly criticize/analyze details about a situation, we may be focusing on reviewing unsolvable details about a situation. Since “right” can be subjectively defined, ask yourself a progressive, optimistic question about a solution for finding 5 new website customers today.

We call negatively expressed opinions criticism. When we criticize, we consciously think and mainly express what we CAN’T do; we think only about unsolvable ideas. We feel mentally “stuck” and like we’re running around in our head, getting nowhere. We LEARN to pessimistically criticize. We can UNLEARN thinking in this self-limiting way.

By HEARING a critical-sounding remark and then impersonally focusing on ideas that ACTUALLY improve the situation, pessimistic criticism no longer seems necessary. Remember, ideas are OPTIONS or OPINIONS about what to do. Choose one that seems most appropriate for the current situation. If that one produces undesired results, CHANGE WHAT YOU’RE DOING!

“Well, I COULD criticize (or believe the criticism I hear) my best efforts and feel sad and stop doing different actions that really improve the situation. Or, I could think instead and imagine actually improving the situation. Hmmm, I think I’d like to figure out how to improve the situation instead, even if the idea initially feels unfamiliar. I’m working through the unfamiliar feeling until I find a way to ACTUALLY achieve my goal.” To hear an encouraging, uplifting podcast about the fabulous you, please listen to episode 2 at my podcasting site,

10-For more information about how your brain thinks, and relates to itself, please see For some uplifting, encouraging words, please see another blog,

To arrange for customized training sessions, public appearances or to learn how hypnotic brain dialog you already think gets you what you want, contact Susan Fox, CH, CBT at Or, in the US, call and leave a message, 24-hours a day at (740) 399-9333 in Ohio, Eastern Standard Time. She will call you back. Also ask her about her new book called: Brainview: What Does Your Brain Think Of You? Hypnotic Brain Dialog Gets Your Brain To Grant Your Wishes.

Author's Bio: 

An internationally known, accomplished and highly respected author, brain dialog research expert, copywriter, marketer, Internet Marketer, product creator, public speaker, trainer, writer and certified hypnotic consultant. In 1988, Astounding Writing Coach, Susan Fox, Founder of Brainview Training Institute, certified in hypnotherapy at the Hypnotism Training Institute of Los Angeles, California. She earned an AA degree in hypnotherapy in 2004 from St. John’s University, Springfield, LA.