Life is a "Do It To Yourself" process.

The Bad News is: You are responsible for the present condition of your life.

Where ever you are in your life right now, whether in your personal relationships, your health or your wealth. You are responsible. If you are fat and unfit. You are responsible. If you are broke and in debt. You are responsible. If you are in a bad, or not even in a, relationship and you are unhappy. You are responsible. If you hate your job and are unhappy at work. You are responsible.

Just realise however that being responsible does not mean that you messed up, or that you are bad. Very few people, if any, set out to deliberately destroy their lives. Everyone I know sets out with good intentions but somewhere along the way they applied bad strategies, they accepted bad advice and they set off in the wrong direction. However, you must acknowledge and accept your role in creating this situation. It was the things that YOU did that got you here and it is the things that YOU are doing that are keeping you here. Until you accept this you cannot change because you will not think that you need to change.

Being responsible means that you accept the situation and acknowledge that have the power to respond to this situation, to control it and to change it.

The ugly news is: You have got to stop blaming outside forces

Why is this ugly. Because if we cannot blame our environment and our society then we have to face the ugly truth that we are responsible for our lives and that just maybe our long held and cherished beliefs are wrong. It means that our "victim's shield of blame" will fade away like the illusion that it really is. Now don't get me wrong. I am not saying that these things did not have an influence in your life. They did, but you do not have to let them control you. You can choose who you wish to be, as this story shows:

Two brothers grew up in the same house with the same alcoholic, abusive father. One brother got older, became an alcoholic, was in trouble with the law and constantly in relationships that didn't work out. What do you expect he said? “Look at the role model I had. My father showed me that this is all there is.”

The other brother grew up to be a successful business man, happily married, a great father and a model citizen. What do you expect he said. “Look at the role model I had. My father showed me exactly how NOT to be.”

What you must realise is that while you are blaming anything outside of yourself for your current situation you are denying yourself the opportunity to improve your situation. Because if it is "their" fault, then for your life to improve "they" must change. You are making yourself a victim of circumstance, leaving yourself at the mercy of others and denying your own power of creation.

Just realise this. No-one has ever forced you to do anything. Everything has always been a choice. Sometimes however the choice was the "lesser of the two evils" Sometimes it is a lose/lose situation then the best you can do is to make the choice where you will lose the least.

You are not the victim of your environment. You are the victim of your unwillingness to grow out of your environment. You are the victim of your need to blame your environment.

It is only when we stop blaming outside forces that we can get on with the inside job of creating our lives.

The good news is: You are responsible for the future condition of your life.

You can do nothing about where you are now. That is beyond your control. But you can, and you should, do everything in your power to grow to where you want to be. If you do not like your current situation then take the time to very clearly identify what it is that you do not like about it.

Take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the left hand side put the heading "Current state" write down every thing that you do not like about your current situation, then on the right hand side put the heading "Desired State" and restate the situation the way that you would like it to be.

For Example. Current state - Health. I am fat, flabby, unfit and unhealthy. My energy levels are low and I get tired easily. - Desired State. I am slim, fit and healthy with great muscle tone. I have plenty of energy and seldom feel tired.

Now start acting as a person would who was in your desired state. Question every action with "Would a person who was slim fit and healthy with great muscle tone, and wanted to stay that way, do this?

To change your life you must first identify what you want to change. Then you must decide what you want to change to and then you must start to act as if you were already in the changed state.

To become who you want to be, living the life you want to live, you have to do just 4 things.

1. You must stop doing some things.

2. You must start doing some things.

3. You must do less of some things; and

4. You must do more of some things.

So go on, Get growing. You have a life to improve.

With love and best wishes



I would really like to have your comments on this article so send them to me at

You can read comments on the previous article here -> Essential Service Feedback (

I would also like to hear from you regarding the biggest problem that you face at work or at home. This will help me to know how to structure future articles. Write to me at

These are some of the main problems that people face:

1. Finding the balance between rights and responsibilities.

2. Balancing work and home life.

3. Balancing process and outcomes. Finding the right issue to focus on.

I will deal with these in future articles.

Author's Bio: 

A professional speaker and trainer, Johan delivers exciting and empowering presentations, seminars and workshops.

Johan has the ability to make the most complicated subject easy to understand and the most sensitive subject easy to deal with.

He is the author of: "Thoughts to live by" Vol 1 and 2 compilations of 99 specially selected inspirational and motivational messages; and
"A Practical Guide to Employee Management" a complete "do it yourself Human Resources guide.

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