As parents and teachers, we need to enhance our abilities tocreate a relationship of trust with the students or thechildren we interact with.

The task sometimes seems hard and we often feel discouraged. Fortunately, there is hope with the visionthat both teachers and children can discover the joy of learning.

Empowering children with self confidence and strengtheningyour capabilities to teach will become second hand as youintegrate the following six principles or beliefs. It's a sure deal.

1. The map is not the territory
Wherever you travel and whenever you use a map, you knowthat this map doesn't show exactly the whole territory. Somethings are just not included on the map. In the same way,our view of the world doesn't show the complete reality.When children, as well as each one of us, experience theworld we give it meaning, which is often distorted. Thisfact help us understand that we need to listen to betterunderstand children's interpretation of the world and thushelp them grow in their view of the world, not our own,which is also only a map.

2. Every behavior has a positive intention
Children sometimes show strange, unexpected behavior but wehave to remember that their behavior is totally congruent tothem at the present time. It is their best choiceavailableaccording to their current map of the world. Their behavioralways has an intention and this intention serves them,otherwise why would they do it. Although we must rememberthat the positive intention does not always manifest itselfthe way we would like it to. What we need to do is findand understand it, while respecting the child we're teachingor raising.

3. There is no failure only feedback
Teachers and parents often don't know how to handle failure.Bad grades should never mean bad child. It only means:"Whatcan I do better as a teacher/parent to help the childrealize that his failure is an opportunity to go forward,build his own character and build the one characteristicnecessary to become a successful person: persistence."

4. You cannot not communicate
You don't only communicate with language but by yourbehavior, your posture and your voice… Each one of yourmovements convey a message. Children are more aware of thesemessages than you think and they give meaning to them. Asingle look could mean: "you're a bad boy", or "I love you".Beware of all the messages you convey because you cannotnotcommunicate.

5. Everyone has all the resources to succeed in learning.
Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Leonardo de Vinci, PabloPicasso had two things in common. They had learningdisabilities and they were geniuses. In spite of theirproblems, they used all the resources they need to realizetheir dreams, to learn and achieve. Being aware that everychild has all the resources he needs to succeed will allowus to love him or her so much better. The more you love achild, the more you will help him realize his potential.

6. Actions are not the person
The student or child you're dealing with is unique and the personal worth of the individual is held constant. Butnaturally, children's behavior is sometimes questionable. This is when we must distinguish between "You're stupid"and "what you've just done is stupid". Learn how to make thedifference between behavior and identity. Let this principle be reflected in your language.

I've made these principles mine and I've seen many changesin my life and in others. Do the same thing with thechildren you raise or teach. I can promise you that you'llsee things that you've never seen before.

Author's Bio: 

Emmanuel SEGUI
Author of "Moving from Vision to Action"

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