How many times have you started a diet, a new way of thinking, or tried something new and then a setback occurs and you just go back to the way you were?

Don’t worry, you are not the only one! Setbacks and difficulties occur all of the time – they are a natural activity of life.

There are two ways of facing difficulties. You either change or alter the difficulty or you can alter yourself to be able to deal with it. Deal with difficulties correctly and it will enhance your confidence, deal with them incorrectly and they can do some serious damage to your self worth.

When you are faced with any setback your ability to deal with it can be turned around into a position of strength by asking yourself positive empowering questions.

There is an unwritten rule that says: Ask your mind a stupid question and you will get a stupid answer!

So, if after setback you ask yourself something like “Why does this always happen to me, I never have any luck?” Your mind will probably come out with: “Because you are useless and good things do not happen to you!” Sound familiar?

Instead, if you ask yourself a positive empowering question like: “What did I learn from this setback for next time?” Your mind will kick into solution mode and help.

Here are some rules and things to think about when setbacks do occur:
• Acknowledge that it has happened. Don’t hide from it. These things happen. So what?
• What positive empowering questions can you ask yourself?
What is good about this situation?
How can I make the most of this situation?
What can I learn from it?
What are the facts about this problem?
How can we make it a successful outcome?
• Acknowledge that setbacks occur to everyone and you are not being singled out.
• View them as a challenge to overcome rather than an issue or problem

Think about the negative dis-empowering thoughts that you think on a regular basis after a setback. What new empowering questions could you ask yourself to give some better answers! Write these down now and make them a habit.

Author's Bio: 

I was born in Braintree, Essex, an illegitimate baby left in a children’s home. I was adopted and brought up in Barkingside, Essex and was sent to a private school at age 11 and achieved all the qualifications necessary to be a secretary. My first job at the age of 16 was with the Legal & General Assurance Society in London where I started out as a shorthand typist, progressing to personal secretary by the time I left to have my family at age 22. I married at age 19 and had three children. Unfortunately this marriage did not last and I remarried at age 32 and moved to Southend-on-Sea, Essex.
Returning to work when the children were old enough I worked for the NHS as the secretary to a Professor of Thoracic Medicine at The London Chest Hospital and subsequently for a Consultant Psychiatrist at Parklands Hospital in Basingstoke, where we had moved to from Southend-on-Sea in Essex when the children had all left home
I relocated to the Isle of Wight in 2003, having had a holiday home there since 1998, which was intended to be a retirement home. The move was prompted by the premature death of our next door neighbour just before her 60th birthday.
I started my own secretarial business on the Island aimed at small businesses who could not afford to employ another person. This has built up from just 1 customer in 2004 to over 60 currently.
Whilst on a Business Link course in 2004 I met someone who was undertaking a Life Coaching course with Newcastle College, and it was free at that time. It sounded interesting to me and I had nothing to lose, so I took their free Certificate and Diploma courses as well and successfully qualified as Personal Life Coach. I also discovered that I loved coaching.
I bumped into Jonathan Jay, who I remembered from his stage hypnotic act some ten years before in the holiday camps on the Isle of Wight, at a Small Business Exhibition at the NEC in 2005 and he suggested that I join him at the Coaching Academy to gain even better qualifications, which I did and successfully qualified as a Corporate & Executive Coach.
I met Dawn Breslin through the Coaching Academy and loved the work she did and the way she did it, and trained with her to become a Confidence Life Coach Practitioner and Confidence Group Trainer. I love this even more than just coaching.
More recently I have been licensed by Susan Jeffers to present her workshops based on her book “Feel the fear and do it anyway”. This is just fabulous. I met her the other day in London and she is so spiritual and positive.
I am on a mission to inspire everyone to find and live their passions - to be their authentic, true self. I feel my job is to be responsive, flexible and enabling, to draw out the star in people. In particular, I am skilled in rebuilding people's self-esteem and confidence, enabling them to develop to their full potential. To do all this requires a holistic, lively approach to personal and professional development, from the delivery of the training and coaching through to on-going support. And I’m interested in results – no ifs, no buts.
I have recently published an e-book entitled ‘7 Steps to re-building confidence in yourself’ which is selling well.

My second book is in the pipeline and hopefully will be published and on the bookshelves by early in 2009.

I have articles published in:

What Are You Attracting? - Mature Times September 2008
Removing Stress with Life Coaching - Daily Echo April 2008
European Coaching Institute Newsletter June 2006 – Is it cool to be happy?
Hearing Concern Magazine 2006 - "Benefits of Thought Field Therapy in adapting to loss of hearing"
Business Vision Magazine - September 2006 - Do you want your ideal work/life balance?