Perception is everything because as we perceive, so it becomes. Perception is the single most important factor in starting or resolving conflicts. The devious axis of the world that have mastered the art of divisiveness, utilize this aspect of human nature to divide and conquer. Although it is not wrong to quarrel with such evil agents; the real problem is figuring out why many are so willing to fall for such tactics regardless of who the messenger is.

It is clearly wrong for any role model to make off-color remarks that will inflame the masses; for their own selfish and political gain. On the other hand, what if the inflammatory remark is true or in the mind of many who may not have the courage to openly articulate the same sentiment? As controversial as it is to deviate from a perceived norm, is it really wrong to point out what many secretly think? Denouncing such a person or statement, does not really address the issue nor does it necessarily fix the problem.

We live in a free society; therefore we each have a right to think and speak our own truths. It is impossible for us to look the same or think the same; even when we are from the same family. The real issue is not making us all the same, because that will never happen. Our multiculturalism is what makes us unique and wonderful; therefore we must strive to understand, respect and appreciate that rich diversity.

Keeping any group quiet or ignoring what they have to say, does not help the nation or the world to move forward. It is onerous on all who wish to lead and be agents of change, to examine why certain people believe what they believe, analyze the perception that led to the belief; is it true? If not, redirect the misperception that led to the misconception. We must find ways to diffuse it with tested facts and the real truth.

Being magnanimous, kind and selfless are learned concepts. In our moment of haste and apprehension about getting our needs met; we sometimes loose sight of the fact that positive energy begets positivism. Consequently, negative outcomes are results of negative vibes attracting negativism. It is ultimately essential that we all strive to be courteous and self controlled at all times; in spite of what the situation is but especially when things are not going our way. Everyone can be nice when they are feeling good.

The real test of your leadership quality is when you can be civilize and in controlled order when all hell breaks loose. How do you handle stress? Do you rant and rave, cuss people out and blame everyone but yourself for your problems or do you comport yourself and calmly figure alternative ways to resolve whatever your issues may be at any given time. You cannot be an effective leader if you are easily swayed. A leader must show character and backbone; yet must know limits and admit when he/she make an error.

It is harder to think clearly enough to constructively resolve problems when we are all bent out of shape. A leader must always learn to choose one’s battles. It is not necessary to respond to every snide remark one hears; especially when it is aimed to disparage and distract from one’s goals. It takes a lot of fortitude, self direction and self reliance to overcome the temptation to stop and give in to every whimsical comment and occurrences. That only provides more ammunition and stuff to nit pick. A leader does not follow and cannot allow others to put him or her on the defensive.

This is not to say that one must live in a bubble where one ignores the world around. A leader must notice activities around; take what positive aspects one needs and keep moving on towards the goal. Instead of throwing mud at those who try in their own ways to make the world better; we should all bring our differing opinions and constructive criticisms to the table and work out useful ways to incorporate all ideas.

It is okay to be vulnerable and sensitive when the need arises but we cannot let others set our own standards of ourselves for us. One must define oneself to the world; not the other way around. We must know and be who we are, always; to stay true to our original selves. Those who love us will do so and those who do not; will not, even when we flip flop to pander to them. It is easy to see through a fake; so what are we really afraid of? Why does everything matter so much? In the final analysis, we all end up in the same place – 6 feet under the ground.

Many people are disenfranchised and look outside themselves for some sense of hope and salvation. This is problematic because what many seek outside of them is already within us; however, they had suffered some loss and disconnect. Each of our belief system is largely dependent on our varied individual experiences in life hence the difference in our world views. The real victory is in reconnecting souls back to their sources of existence and guiding each one to find their own truths. An effective leader must be innovative enough to carve out his own route and cheerfully stick to it.

Author's Bio: 

Rehabilitation Consultant, Motivational Speaker, Trainer and Author of "A Slice of Africa", "Innocence Interrupted" and "Till Cheating Do Us Part".