It is so easy to think that we’re right. It is so easy to think that our way of thinking is the way par excellence. We’re so caught up with our daily life that we don’t realize or don’t want to admit that other people may also be right.

Well, according to NLP and Alfred Korzybski, developer of the theory of general semantics, each one of us deals with the world through a map. This map contains all sorts of ideas, concepts, understands, beliefs and values about life, about others and about the person itself, his capacities etc.

Each one of us has constructed a map through different filters. Part of the map was created through social ideas, beliefs and principles. Another part of the map was created and nurtured through our own experiences.

The map is the sum of all those thoughts that are neither true nor false. Every human being has a different map. It is impossible to find 2 people with the same map.

Now, there are far too many experiences to hold them all in our map. Studies say that we receive millions of bits of information every second and our conscious mind only retains 5 to 9 items at a time. This phenomenon occurs because it would be impossible for us to process all this information. It has to be filtered.

John Grinder and Richard Bandler, 2 geniuses who developed Neuro-linguistic programming or NLP, said that it exists 3 phenomena that occur to filter all this information in order to create a map. The first phenomenon is called deletion. The second one generalization and the third one distortion.

From these phenomena we create our map. And the deletion, distortion and generalization processes are different for every human being. That’s no wonder why 2 people having the exact same experience from the outside will have different reactions, emotions, thoughts about that same experience.

So, what does that mean to you? What difference it would make to have that knowledge? Well, a couple of things. First, when 2 people have a conflict, they both may be right, according to their own map. So don’t try to convince a person that he is wrong, but acknowledge his reality as a possibility and lead him toward a positive common goal.

The other thing is that you can change anything, anywhere, anytime. After all, when you change, you’re not dealing with the reality, you’re dealing with your map, full of distortions, generalizations and deletion. You can change things around. You can get rid of things and replace them by other things. You can tear these things apart to find other things, more useful things that will enhance your life.

And if you want to know how to change and become a better leader, for yourself, your family or your organization by discovering your heart, you can download a free Special Report entitled Leadership of The Future: Leadership From The Heart that will teach you how you can become a whole and healthy leader today at

Author's Bio: 

Emmanuel Segui, NLP and neuro-semantics practitioner. Read hundreds of articles on NLP at the Academy of Neurolinguistic Pogramming by clicking here