Many of you have come to me with questions about a person that you have been in a relationship with and mysteriously he or she pulled away.
Men often pull away from a relationship when they are having personal challenges. Men are socialized to be "performance oriented". If they feel they are having a challenge in some other aspect of their life,they don't feel as comfortable in an emotional relationship if they are not projecting total strength.
Women have been socialized in different ways than men. I have seen psychically and spiritually, that you can be causing damage to your personal and spiritual development by putting yourself on hold and "being patient"and waiting for someone to come back to a relationship. I am unequivocally against it. NEVER, NEVER, sit and wait for someone. Why?
Your FIRST and FOREMOST responsibility on the planet right here right now is YOU. Your FIRST job is the spiritual growth,emotional well being, and evolution of your soul.
When you place your focus on someone else, and "wait", essentially you set that other person up for a lot of responsibility for the happiness and well being of you. You have put your personal,emotional, and spiritual growth on hold. You have put yourself on hold, waiting for your person,who becomes your "SOURCE" of all of your future happiness.
If we could remember for a moment that man who you have been waiting for, who we will call JOE.
Joe is busy trying to take care of himself,get himself "back on track", perhaps with a new job,or calming his emotions after a trauma.
You think, Wow!!..I haven't heard from Joe for a whole week.....Maybe I should call him and see if he is "ok".....
( interpretation:" Maybe I should call Joe, so he wont forget me, and I hope he isn't seeing anyone else, oh no, I am really gonna DIE if Joe is seeing someone else !")..
In reality, you are trying to keep that ANXIETY level from overwhelming you, because you have placed the responsibility on this man of being YOUR "SOURCE" for your emotional well-being.
ANOTHER WAY TO DO IT:
Put Joe on the back burner. If it is true that Joe is resurrecting his emotional stability and he needs to get his life in order~let him go...for now.
PLACE YOUR FOCUS on YOU,TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOU....and begin to look at getting your own needs met in other ways. Find out what it is that you are needing, emotionally, spiritually, etc., and then TAKE ACTION TO GET THOSE NEEDS MET. Put yourself in charge of your life..once you begin to do this and you will understand this concept and it will become second nature.
YOU WILL REALIZE.. THAT being in a relationship with another person means that you must continue to take care of you,and that your emotional and spiritual well-being is your responsibility.
WHEN HE RETURNS..
Don't get lazy or go back to thinking 'ahhhh....finally Joe is back( and he can nurture me again.) Learn to be self responsible for your own needs.
TO BE SURE in all the years that I have been advising others I can tell you that if you are too needy or dependent on the another individual...
YOU WILL be given the lesson of SELF RELIANCE...AND It will happen OVER AND OVER until you actually master it.
This isn't hard. It just takes practice. Its really a relief for those who I have counseled. They are realizing that they can actually LET GO OF THE ANXIETY..and their lives and relationships are much happier, and more successful.
Best of all, you will be EMPOWERING yourselves..as you should be!!
BLESSINGS AND PEACE IN YOUR HEART
AUROEALIS
Copyright © 2003-2008, Auroealis.com All Rights Reserved.
Call me if you have further questions about your particular situation. I can offer some clarity and guidelines.
Auroealis has been a Psychic Relationship Expert for over thirty years.
She has an unparalleled reputation for being exceptionally clear and thorough in her sessions. She offers a unique look at your partner and your relationship dynamics. Delving deeply below the surface of the current issues,giving couples a more comprehensive understanding,and ability to create a better future.
Looking at current issues,childhood trauma,adult trauma, and past lives are part of the process that Auroealis offers.
Auroealis has been a guest speaker at Universities,and a guest on radio programs.
She has consulted on over 45 unsolved homicides,helping them
to come to successful conclusion.
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