"Heartbreak as Teacher"

In your quest for Heart Freedom, there is value in the pain of a broken heart. It gives you feedback to learn about changing and growing. Pain can be seen not simply as arbitrary suffering but as a teacher. Emotional discomfort and pain are inevitable parts of the human experience, but suffering is a dysfunctional over-reaction. It is a choice you make, albeit unknowingly, to extend and add to your pain. Ironically, suffering is usually brought on by behaviors designed to avoid feeling pain, behaviors that keep your heart locked tightly and lonely. If you wish to surpass suffering and instead use the pain of heartbreaks to grow into love, then dare to shift some of your misperceptions about affairs of the heart.

Change From “People fall in love and live happily ever after—their hearts once opened stay that way.”
Change To “We can create love for the rest of our lives, but we must re-open our hearts every time they close. We must feed our relationship by spending lovers’ time together. We must not take each other for granted.”

Transform “If you love me, you should know what I want.”
Into “Love requires a transparency of desire—I dare to risk making myself vulnerable by asking my lover for what I need and want.”

Alter“If you love me unconditionally, you’ll accept everything I do.”
Into“I can separate loving my partner from blindly accepting hurtful behaviors.”

Let go of“I’ll be saved and taken care of; our relationship is a remedy for my weakness, a deliverance from neediness, an escape from powerlessness.”
Keep“A relationship requires courage and daring. It is a supreme achievement, a heroic journey, a challenge that I can rise to, that can bring out the best in me.”

Author's Bio: 

Al Link and Pala Copeland own and operate 4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra. They regularly host lover’s romantic weekends near Ottawa Canada, and weeklong retreats in exotic locations. For more information call toll free from Canada or USA: 1-800-684-5308 International long distance: 1-819-689-5308. Visit their website www.tantra-sex.com and their blog www.askaboutloveandsex.com or send email: 4freedoms@tantraloving.com They have four books published including Soul Sex: Tantra for Two, New Page, 2003; The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Supercharged Kama Sutra, Penguin, 2007; Sensual Love Secrets for Couples: The Four Freedoms Body, Heart, Mind and Soul, Llewellyn 2007; Tantra Step by Step: 28 Days to Ecstasy, Llewellyn 2007.