Nobody can hurt you without your consent. There are many
instances in life where your confidence is hit hard. Sometimes
you overcome life's hardness, sometimes you get overwhelmed.
Sometimes your courage and confidence sees you through, but
sometimes your self-confidence gets a beating. However, the point
here to remember is that "nobody can hurt you without your

The problem is not as important as the impact it had on you,
rather the impact that you let the problem create on you. In life
pain is inevitable but suffering is optional, as the saying goes.
It's purely your choice, and whether you choose to bounce back or
suffer is entirely your prerogative.

There can be many reasons that your self-confidence is hurt. You
may have had a bad marriage and now are heading for a divorce.

You were not chosen for your college's football team; you may
have been laid off. There's definitely a lot of pain involved in
any of the situations. But you don't necessarily have to suffer.
You must arise and resolve to get back your confidence.

The following five ways would help you do just that.

1. Look at the brighter side. If you have been laid off, it would
be okay to feel bad about it for a day or two but not more than
that. Losing a job is a terrible thing, but it does not mean the
end of the world.

Who knows it might be a blessing in disguise. Maybe you have got
some time to review your life, get aware of where you are going,
have a look at your likes and hobbies which you could not develop
because of pressures of your job. Maybe this is an opportunity to
start afresh and live your life a new way which is more in sync
with your abilities and aptitude.

Similarly, a divorce may cause great pain but then you weren't
too happy in your marriage either. It probably was just not meant
to be. Now you have a chance to rebuild your life the way you
want it to be.

2. Stop comparing yourself with other people. When we have a
problem we always question god - "oh, god, why me?" Certainly god
gave you a lot of rewards as well.

Did you then get up and ask god -"oh god, why me?" That's what
human nature is all about. We complain and remember god when we
are in trouble or else we are too busy with ourselves.

Stop looking at other people who seem too happy and comfortable
to you from a distance. Stop comparing their comfort with your

This will only frustrate you further. Focus on yourself and make
every effort you can make to go out whenever you are feeling

3. Self-pity is very addictive and capable of destroying lives.
Instead of indulging in self-pity (though we all do from time to
time), take control of your life and take responsibility for your
actions, learn from your mistakes and make a fresh start.

4. And yeah…don't be bogged down when you hear a "no". A "no" is
something which even greats like Edison and Ford, too, had to
face. If you look at them positively, you will find that each
"no" actually takes you closer to a "yes." It's been reported
time and time again that Edison conducted more than a thousand
failed experiments before he actually made an electric bulb! So
get going and take an occasional no in stride.

5. Are you standing in your own way? You will notice that shadows
are caused when we stand in the path of sunshine. In our lives,
too, we cause a lot of shadows by standing in the way of our own
happiness. In today's world, it is important to be flexible. A
lot of people will look for a job for months, yet still reject
work coming their way because they are not willing to adapt to
some new job requirements.

Jane, a schoolteacher, was laid off from her job. She kept trying
for months to get a job as a teacher while rejecting
opportunities such as taking private tuitions, being a nanny,
doing copy- editing work as a freelancer. The long wait hurt her
self-confidence even more. Sometimes it is wise to be a little
flexible and adapt ourselves to new job demands rather than to
look exactly for what we lost. It helps regain confidence quickly
which brings along enough energy to get an even better job in the
field of your choice!

Don't forget, there is always a way to regain your lost self-
confidence. You just have to look for it. Because finding is
reserved for those who search. Are you searching for an answer?

Author's Bio: 

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