Coming to America

COMING TO AMERICA

A few days ago I realized that it was over 25 years, a quarter century, since I came to America. This put me in a reminiscent mood and my mind went back to those days when I was new to America and unfamiliar with the customs and institutions that make up this great country. As a result I had gotten intimately involved with 3 young misses, namely mis(s)understanding, mis(s)-interpretation and mis(s)takes.

My first day in Pittsburgh, while snacking at a McDonalds, I happened to see a tall middle aged man who looked like an Indian, so I said Hi to him. He smiled and came and sat at my table. As we talked, we realized that we were from different countries-I from India and he from Indonesia. Anyway, we became good friends and remained friends for several years, until he went to California and we lost touch with each other. Anyway, this was a “happy” mistake.

I remembered my second day in Pittsburgh, while staying at the YMCA, I saw a man about 4'10"’ tall and he was wearing a Tee shirt of the Pittsburgh basketball team. I was very much impressed. I thought this man must have terrific talent; to be so short and yet to be playing for their basketball team. (You must realize, where I came from, a person wore a team shirt only if he belonged to that team). Soon after, I saw another man about 65 years old and he was wearing a Jacket of the Pittsburgh Steelers, their football team. Again I was very much impressed. That a man at this age could withstand all the pushing and shoving involved in championship football, really filled me with awe. I went ahead and asked him for his autograph. He was surprised and looked at me in a funny sort of way, but was also pleased and gave me an autograph.

I also remembered Mr Gaetano. Mr Lou Gaetano was one of my supervisors, actually my supervisor’s supervisor. He had a dashing and debonair personality and expressed himself very well. Every morning, during the coffee break, I would notice that he was the center of a group of employees, who were listening to his every word as he talked about all sorts of exploits involving cars, romances and beautiful women. I envied this man who led such an exciting life. It was only after a few weeks of this that I realized he was telling them about last night’s TV program. Anyway, I learnt from this that in America, presentation is everything and this came in useful. You see, my immediate supervisor used to bug me every Monday morning, asking how my weekend went, where did I go, etc. I used to tell him that I did not do anything or go anywhere, but he insisted that I must go somewhere on the weekends. After 2 or 3 instances of this I got tired of this and the next time he asked, I told him that I relaxed thoroughly, Friday , Saturday and Sunday. He was very happy that I had “relaxed”.

Next I remembered how I had tried to get some credit at stores and banks. Everywhere I used to declare that I did not have any loans outstanding. This was the wrong thing to say in America. It meant that I did not have any “credit history”. Anyway, I finally got a credit card from Sears. Soon afterwards, I got one from Korvettes and finally the great day arrived when I got my VISA Card and soon after, a Master Card. Now I had to buy new shirts, because my chest swelled up a couple of inches. I felt like the President of America. But this was only the beginning, these were only plastic cards; I soon received Visa Silver, then Gold, then Platinum. I thought this was the end, but then I got Titanium and Iridium charge cards. Had this trend continued I would have got Plutonium and Uranium. With these cards, I would not need any lighting in the house, I would glow in the dark. Anyway, I took my silver, gold and platinum cards to the jeweler and asked him to give me some money for the precious metal inside, but he only laughed at me.

On another occasion, I had gone to the local mall and in the Macy’s store, I noticed a mannequin that was totally still and looked so lifelike, I could swear it was alive. Finally, I could not bear the suspense and pinched its’ arm. It turned out to be made of clay. Two days later, I happened to be in the same store with a friend of mine. We again saw a mannequin looking very lifelike; and had an argument; I said it was just a statue, while he maintained that it was a real person. Finally, to prove him wrong, I pinched the mannequin on the arm. Unfortunately for me, it was live and I was in deep trouble. Since then I have steered away from all mannequins.

Looking back at all these misadventures, I know much better now and am not likely to make such mistakes again, but I have no regrets, because it was a lot of fun, life was never boring or monotonous at that time. I would suggest to everyone to befriend the three “misses”, don’t be afraid to be a little embarrassed now and then; try something new, be in a learning mode about life and life can be very interesting.