In a recent Twitter post I wrote, "Blessed are the humans who have made it their goal for self-improvement." In response, a dear friend wrote back with this question:

"Ok... Great. Good idea. Makes sense to me. It's been the goal of my life. Only one problem... If we are perfect the way we are and we don't need to work to change or improve ourselves, then how do the two thoughts/beliefs mesh? Maybe I'm just reading too much into one or the other, but it has driven me crazy the last few days! It just seems to be the exact opposite of what I've heard you say about self-acceptance. Maybe there's a balance that I'm missing somewhere here. It kind of reminds me of the whole "you create your life experiences" concept. You can't only create the "good" things and not acknowledge your creation of the "bad" things. Where is the line drawn? Is there a line? Where is the balance? Is there any balance? Can you have both, or is it a one way street?"

"Blessed are the human who have made it their goal for self-improvement." In my experience, people who go in search of self-improvement eventually discover self-acceptance and self-love, which leads into ever deepening personal responsibility and conscious choice. The desire for personal growth is a step into the inward winding journey of discovering authentic self.

Finding one's true self has to begin somewhere, and it usually begins when we take a mindful look at our own lives and assume responsibility for overcoming that feels limiting. Often a rich and fulfilling life begins when we choose to overcome an addiction, disruptive tendency, harmful behavior, or intense self-criticism.

Of course, my friend is also correct when she suggests that self-improvement can be a trap. We typically get stuck when the mind takes over our self-improvement journey. Rather than leading us inward into greater trust of our true feelings and intuition, it hijacks the journey. The logical mind does not desire true change, but rather tries to "fix" our current personality. It looks outside rather than inside for answers about how to lose weight, end drinking, overcome shyness, etc. The logical mind doesn't want to create an entirely new balance between our spirit, body, emotions, and mind. Instead, it wants to be in charge of creating a persona that never fails, is never wrong, never feels badly, and is always happy.

However, there's good news in this. Because as we go through a thousand diets, infinite expert approaches, and hundreds of different types of healers, we eventually become conscious of what we are doing. The course of self-improvement eventually leads us back home. We recognize that what we seek does not lie outside. And slowly, we begin to turn inward. We learn to trust our intuitive sense, our true feelings, and our bodies. We begin to trust that we know how to live our own life, that we are capable of making conscious decisions, and we are able to stand strong in our decisions no matter what.

If you've been on the self-help journey for a while, take a deep breath and come back down into your own body, into your own true feelings, and into your own experience. Trust what you feel more and trust what you think less.

Author's Bio: 

If you're looking for more answers about how to finally stop healing and ready to start living your most meaningful life, check out, Your Highest Potential: The New Psychology of Understanding and Working with Self which you can find at along with a boatload of testimonials. Its message and energy is designed to bring you into the self-acceptance you most desire.