If you are like most women, you are trying to keep your head above water in this speed- crazed world, stretched too thin on your time and juggling ten projects at a time. Sound familiar! My best friend Tina and myself have a great joke and we always state we
consider ourselves “wonder women” and we add “we look at ourselves and we wonder!”
After working a full year non-stop, serving on a board, numerous speaking engagements, co-publishing books and sitting on the organizing committee for a fundraiser, the brakes were applied one weekend a year ago. I came crashing against a brick wall. Believe me, it hurt!
Like most women, I ignored the symptoms of stress: sleepless nights, constant exhaustion, daily migraines, a racing heart, back aches and stomach upsets. Stress is common in everyone’s lives and there is no exception to this rule. But sometimes, life has other plans for us. I had to do some serious soul searching about continuing on a volunteer board that was time consuming and fraught with conflicts.
When is it a good time to throw in the towel and say “enough is enough”? I have never been a quitter, so would I be considered a coward, a loser, defeatist? If an organization, commitment to a goal or a person is not serving your best interests…when do we make the decision to move on? Here is a few heart-felt observations that I had on that weekend:
1. Admitting “enough is enough”, does not mean you are weak or a selfish person. It does not spell defeat. It is actually more courageous to step down than to get sick over something. Taking back control to yourself, and to your health makes you a winner.
2. Consider the other option. We could continue something that is getting us more stressed and sicker or we could step back and take control of our stress levels. When you are making this decision, sit back and consider the other option. Talk it over with an unbiased person who can see the whole picture objectively. You would be surprised to see what they see!
3. Own your own age! Even though I have inherited great genes, and most people mistake me for my early 30’s, the fact is that I am in my mid- 40’s. We and life, evolve and circumstances change and it is important to be honest with ourselves. The energy that we had 10 or 20 years ago, is not the same energy level we have today.
4. Life is not about “survival of the fittest”! Life is about balance, and living with honesty and integrity. Working hard to achieve our personal goals or lofty dreams is admirable, but not at the expense of our survival. Life is not about surviving, it is about living.
5. Prevention is better than a cure! My life partner always says this to me (I should listen to him more often)! Be pro-active today, instead of waiting till tomorrow, when the decision is sometimes made for us.
6. Learn to set boundaries. Prioritize your life with what is important and needs attention now. Life is not a contest, but your precious time and health is the prize.
7. Put your ego aside! If we were to remove our egos, our drive to succeed, a desire to be a people-pleaser, you would see your decisions clearly and easily.
8. When stress becomes toxic! Let’s face it…there is normal stress (paying bills, being at work on time) and there is high-level toxic stress. When the unnecessary stress becomes a pollutant in our personal health system, then drastic measures are needed.
9. When you make the decision to feels right in your core, then stick with it. Do not let anyone persuade you. The weight of the world will be lifted from your shoulders.
10. The law of balance states that when you are giving more to something than what you are getting back, then it is time to pack it in. In the end, the scales are never tipped in your favour.
Sometimes, undue and unnecessary stress that we put upon ourselves, will dull our gems within. Take a good look at what is important right now and if saying “enough is enough” will help you to sparkle and shine again, then do it! Then you can truly say that you are a wonder(full) woman!
Nominated for Canada 100 Most Powerful Women, Canada's Diamond Coach Adele Alfano www.AdeleAlfano.com is an Award Winning Professional Speaker, Author, Co-Publisher, who has helped thousands of people capitalize on their unique abilities to maximize their potential through her specially designed and created systems. Her proven techniques have helped
people mine passion and purpose in their lives and in an evolving workplace. Adele is also the co-author, co-editor and Publisher for the first ever in a series of collaborative books titled Experts Who Speak Books www.expertswhospeakbooks.com and also the founder of the sold-out fundraising events in Southwestern Ontario called "Kiss my Tiara!" www.KissMyTiara.ca
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