When we get into a new relationship, everything seems fun and amazing. It feels like the connection we have with another person will last forever, but that is not what always happens. With time relationships change, and people start growing apart. With time you will discover some habits in your partner that you would not like, and similarly, they will also see things in you that they would like to change. When a relationship enters a stage like this, both partners have to work on it to make things better. However, sometimes things can get out of hand, and if you do not break up, the relationship will start becoming toxic and unhealthy. So, if at some point you think your relationship with your partner is becoming toxic, then you must end things for your own good.

If you still love your partner and want to work on the relationship despite the difficulties, you must first ensure that your partner will not take advantage of it. Sometimes when one partner tries too hard to save a relationship, the other can become manipulative and can resort to emotional abuse. You do not want that happening to yourself, so you need to tackle the situation wisely. Sometimes you would not even know you are being manipulated, and that can be dangerous. Luckily, emotionally abusive relationships are not hard to spot, and if you look for signs, you would be able to tell that you are being manipulated. In this article, I have mentioned a few prominent signs which indicate that your partner is abusing you emotionally, let’s take a look:

They Humiliate You In Front of Others

If you constantly find your partner humiliating you, it is a sign that they are trying to abuse you emotionally. The National Coalition against Domestic Violence also mentioned it very clear that if your partner is humiliating you, it is a clear sign of emotional abuse. There are several ways in which they can humiliate you. For example, they will start criticizing you in front of their friends, which can badly damage your reputation. This is something that no human being should put up with. If they disrespect you for no reason, they are not the right person for you. Also, if they can treat you so badly in front of other people, they can treat you worse in private. So, if your partner has done something like this to you, then you must confront them with a strict tone.

Controlling Your Appearance

If your partner is trying to control your appearance and wants you to dress in a certain way, then it is also a big no. If they want you to follow a certain fashion every once in a while because you look attractive in them, then it is fine. However, if they are constantly complaining about how you look and are asking you to change your appearance, they are controlling and abusing you. For example, if your male partner is asking you constantly to shave your arms and legs because they don’t like it that way, then it is considered emotional abuse. Similarly, if they complain about you being fat or overweight, they are harsh towards you. These statements might seem normal to them, but they can make you feel unattractive and unloved. Your partner must accept you for who you are, not what you can be. If your partner is telling you things like this, it is better to get out of the relationship.

They Constantly Kill Conversations

If you often find your partner killing conversation when the discussion gets a bit heated or you both disagree, then it is a clear sign of emotional abuse. People who resort to emotional abuse want to control their partner and cannot stand it when they start expressing their opinions. If your partner shuts you down when you are sharing your side of the story, then it means they do not want to hear what you have to say. They want you to agree with them and approach things accordingly. Communication is the key to any successful relationship, and successful communication takes place when both partners are willing to hear each other. If your partners just like shouting and cuts you off in the middle of sentences, then they are just trying to control your emotions.

Threatens to Hit You

This is one of the biggest signs that your relationship has become toxic, and the other person is abusing you emotionally. If your partner constantly complains that you are pushing them too hard and they might lose their cool and hit you, then you should take it seriously. You would not even know when the threat will become a reality, and the emotional abuse will turn into physical abuse. So, if they cross the line and threaten to hit you, you should not take it lightly and must get a restraining order against them. You can also hire a restraining order lawyer who will help you throughout the process and will ensure that your partner doesn’t harm you in any way.

Monitors Your Phone and Laptop Activity

Another sign of emotional abuse is that your partner is constantly monitoring your phone and laptop activity. If they want to check your texts and call recordings without you making a drama out of it, then they are trying to manipulate it. Even in relationships, both individuals have the right to privacy. This is a sign of controlling behavior, which means you cannot do anything without your partner poking into it. This will leave you in an environment where you would not be able to get any sort of privacy for yourself. It can also make you feel like you cannot sustain relationships and will always scrutinize them. But you need to be strong in these situations and understand that it’s them who are the problem, not you.

Isolates You from Your Family and Friends

Another thing emotional abusers do is that they try to isolate their partner from friends and family. This also falls under controlling behavior and is very harmful to you. Abusers do this because they do not want the victim to be around people who will be able to recognize his controlling behavior. If you are hanging out with your friends sharing the stress you are going through; they will be able to identify that your partner is abusing you emotionally and will try to get you out of it. In some cases, the partner asks their spouse to stop talking with a certain friend because they know you are close to them, and they will be able to recognize the change in your behavior. If you feel like you haven’t talked to your friends and family in a while because of your partner, then it is time you make a decision about it.

Moral Compromise

No relationship is perfect, and you will find some sort of conflict, no matter how great the other person is. However, if your partner is asking you to compromise your morals, it is not a good sign at all. We all have our sense of right and wrong, and we do not want to do anything that is unethical for us. A good partner will never ask you to do anything that is against your morals, even if you both are going through a rough period. A toxic and emotionally abusive, however, will ask you to compromise your morals in the most complicated of times. One example is that if your partner is asking you to engage in sex despite the fact that you do not want to do it before marriage. This means they are pressuring you for something they want, and it does not matter to them if it compromises your morals.

You Need Their Permission to Do Certain Things

If you have found yourself in a position where you cannot do certain things unless your partner permits it, then you have given them control of yourself. For example, if you cannot leave the house or visit your parents without their permission, then it means they are abusing you emotionally. Similarly, if they do not want you to visit your friends at the bar after a long day of work, then they just want to control you. You should walk away in such a situation because soon it can make you doubt yourself and whether you can be independent or not.


In the end, it is understandable you were unable to see all these signs just because you still love your partner. It is hard to identify these things when you want to make it work with that person. But you also need to understand that some things are just not meant to be, and you need to put yourself first. You can only go on with a person for so long with such behavior. Eventually, you will collapse under the weight of all the emotional abuse, and you can get traumatized as well. So it is strictly advised that you understand your worth and remove that toxic person from your life.

Author's Bio: 

Success Coach, Business Development Consultant, Strategist, Blogger, Traveller, Motivational Writer & Speaker