5 tips for forgiving and reconciling

When a friend hurts you emotionally, you feel great disappointment. But you can also feel a resentment and anger against this friend. And depending on how much you suffer, you can never forgive your friend for this incident. You will feel comfortable with this attitude at first. But at some point there is doubt as to whether it is really that good to keep these negative energies to yourself. Because that is exactly what it means when you do not forgive. You keep resentment and anger with you because you don't let go of it. It makes sense to let go of these feelings. But how does it work and what can you do to let go of those emotions? These five tips can help you for forgiving and reconciling.

Here's How You Can Learn To Forgive!

1. Realize that forgiveness helps you
If you forgive you will also heal yourself because the negative energy will be released. This can be very liberating and create a lot of inner peace. You let go of the burden of negative energy that you normally only carry with you. Sometimes it is believed that it is good not to forgive because the bad friend should suffer. But this is a mistake. Because only you are the one who feels this negative energy every day. You carry the hatred, the resentment and the anger within you.
Also, remember that you are acting like a judge by wishing your friend suffered from your grudges. But you are not a judge and you do not impose any penalties! So let go of these thoughts and get rid of them.

2. Forgiveness does not reverse the incident
The act your friend took remains a fact. Forgiveness doesn't change that. So you can forgive and still choose not to revive that old friendship. Sometimes when you forgive you think that you are undoing an action or incident. But it is not like that. Everything that happened stays in history and cannot be talked away. If your friend needs to be punished for it because there is a legal basis for it, he needs to get it. Forgiveness is just a mental internal process. But it does not change the facts. But remember, forgiveness is only real when it comes from the heart. Anyone who wants to resolve to forgive rationally is going a wrong way.

3. Try to make peace with the situation
Whatever happened, keep in mind that maybe there was a reason for it. It is possible that your friend was stressed out nervously and lost control of the situation. Perhaps there was anger at work or at home beforehand, which led him to look for an exit to divert that anger. Even if all of this is wrong that you are the one suffering, you may still have a little understanding. Make your peace with the incident because it cannot be changed.

4. Realize that we all make mistakes
You cannot rid yourself of the fact that something like this will never happen to you in your life. Because we all make mistakes in life. Also your friend who hurt you so much. Mistakes are there to be reflected on. Only when we make mistakes can we gain wisdom. We need the mistakes, because without them there would be no tasks in life. And mistakes ensure that we can mature internally. So start by letting go of the judgment. Instead, just look at the situation for what it is.

5. Talk about your feelings
When you start talking to your friend when you want to forgive him. Explain to your friend how you felt about the situation. Also, talk about the emotional hurt you experienced. It is important that you describe all the feelings that you were feeling in that moment. Because your friend should understand how much he has caused you pain. This is important for him and his inner understanding. Because only then can he understand what he has done.
In this conversation, however, you can also ask your friend what made him act like this. You can talk about anything, but don't try to judge your friend. Because otherwise you may never really be able to forgive. This is only possible if you free yourself from reviews.

Is reconciliation really possible?
Once you have learned to forgive, the question is whether you are ready for reconciliation. Has your friend been the most important person in your life so far? Then you ask yourself intensely whether you really want a reconciliation. Because it cannot be ruled out that your friend will hurt you emotionally again. Even if he swears this will never happen again, you can't rely on it. When you are ready to take the risk, prepare yourself for how you will shape reconciliation.

When confidence is gone, it takes time to rebuild. A handshake is not enough. And it's not all the same as in the past. Give this friendship time to grow again. Avoid tests designed to prove that your friend is now error free.
Because it is not a good basis for rebuilding friendship. It takes a little confidence and hope. Know that it is just an attempt. But there are cases in which a new friendship is impossible. Everyone has to decide for themselves whether they are capable of doing this or not. If you accept the tips, you can also personally develop spiritually.

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