3 Myths About Presence—What is true Presence? How to Achieve It

I find that Presence is such a frequently used word, that it has lost its true meaning and significance. There are books, there are teachings, and poems that speak of it. Whole spiritual traditions are based on it. Tolle's work has brought "The Now" to a broad audience. It is the fundamental work of the Enneagram. Sometimes I hear it referred to as if it's a 'given,' that everyone knows what it means and "how to do it." (That's a red flag, since we can't "do" presence.)

If it's so much a part of today's language, at least in certain circles, why isn't there more evidence of Presence in day-to-day life? Could we be misinterpreting what presence really means? Could we be looking in the wrong place?

In my own history, I have had many times of "thinking" that I was present while seemingly in the most ideal of circumstances. In retrospect, I really was caught in an automatic pattern. A perfect example comes from one of things that I most love--being in nature. How often did I hike the most beautiful of trails, only to realize later that I was totally lost in reverie or thought? Yes, it felt good, but No, it was not Presence.

As I, too, continue to explore this more deeply in my own life and work, I invite you to check in with yourself on the following comments to see what resonates and what may be blocking a deeper experience of Presence.

Myths and Beliefs

Here are three myths that I come across frequently in my conversations with clients and students.

Myth One:
Presence always feels good.

An assumption about Presence is that it is what we expect to experience in our happiest, most upbeat moments.

In reality: We come into contact with all of life's experience in Presence. Some of those moments are sublimely beautiful. Sometimes we experience our natural strength, or brilliance, among other possible precious qualities. But we sometimes experience difficult and hard-to-be-with memories or sensations from the past, or challenging current life circumstances. When we 'show up' to allow in these experiences, we receive great support and are almost always brought into a new relationship with ourselves and with our circumstances.

Presence does not decide what it likes and does not like. Our minds do that, leading to an idea of what is acceptable and not acceptable to experience. Truly, everything is allowed to show up when we are present---we just don't need to act on what shows up.

Myth Two:
Presence isn't practical.

To be present is different than and separate from functioning in real life. This gets translated into a personal belief that feels like: I can't do what I need to do if I'm focusing on presence. All the really important aspects of life require that I jump back into my usual way of living. Presence just gets in the way and makes me ineffective.

This myth may play out in this way: "I'll schedule some time to meditate, or breathe, or go to a workshop. It will feel good. Then, I'll get back to my real life."

In reality, presence is not dualistic. There are no different boxes or compartments. Real presence informs and supports daily living, and is profoundly practical.

Myth Three:
Presence means "going somewhere else."

Being present gets translated into entering into a trance-like quality. This may show up as visualizing a beautiful place, or becoming ungrounded, leaving Here. While visualizing can have powerful benefits, it is not the same as presence.

In reality, the specific patterns associated with each Enneagram type gives us precise information on our unconscious strategies for leaving Presence. These patterns make up the inner stories of our lives that turn us away from being here.

Direct Contact: The Way Back to Here

One of the great paradoxes of Presence lies in orienting in the opposite direction of what we do when the personality is automatically running. A good starting place is to breathe and make direct contact with the amazing information (via sensations) available through the Body and the Heart, and Head. The Centers of Intelligence, contacted through sensations, allow us to be in real contact with what is actually here. Then we can respond with what is actually needed in this moment--a gift of enormous practicality.

It is simple (not easy). It is never automatic. It always requires consciousness. And it will always deliver surprises. This is the Trust Walk of a lifetime.

I still have a picture of a fallen leaf given to me by a wise friend many years ago, to remind me to look at my feet. This poem suggests looking 'under' foot, as a lovely metaphor for coming back to Here.

Look Under Foot
The lesson
which life repeats and constantly enforces is
"Look under foot."
You are always
nearer to the divine and the
true sources of your power
than you think.
The lure of the distant and the difficult
is deceptive. The great opportunity is
where you are.
Do not despise your own place and hour.
Every place is under the stars,
every place is the center of the world.

John Burroughs
Naturalist
1817-1862